Anthony:
An idea for Harry Potter, Book 8: HP and Hagrid join forces to create an "Express Owl" Service far faster than conventional owls. Hilarity ensues when Hagrid tries to cross-breed Hermes with a Thestral.
Pam:
HP Book 8: Harry Potter, having defeated Voldemort, renovates the old Riddle manse and lives like landed gentry. Various Hogwarts alumnae visit for extended periods of time. Hilarity ensues when Harry finds out Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan have been using their rented upstairs apartment for a Muggle portkey blackmarket ring.
Anthony:
Do I detect an urge to reinvigorate our HP franchise?
HP and the Heart That Went On: A Time-Turner accident lands Harry, Ron and Hermione aboard a luxurious but doomed ocean liner crossing the Atlantic. Hermione is befriended by a cheeky artist while Harry becomes close to a sad heiress. Meanwhile, Ron learns how to dance in Steerage. Hilarity results from something or other involving an iceberg and a diamond necklace.
Pam:
Hilarity results from something or other. Yes! I think I’ve seen that one! Next:
HP and the Day After Tomorrow: A freak accident in Defense Against the Dark Arts lands the sixth years in a parallel universe, where New York City is about to be completely smothered in ice and snow. It is up to the plucky Hogwarts teens to lead Jake Gyllenhaal and the rest of their good-looking Muggle friends to safety. Can they muster enough tiny blue flames to keep hope alive? Starring Grayback the Werewolf as Vice President Dick Cheney.
Anthony:
That's COMPLETELY unfair to werewolves and you know it! Werewolves tend to be a bit apolitical. After a century or two all politicians look alike. Although there were any number of werewolves in the early 20th c. who were ardent socialists. You know, the dignity of labor and all that ...
HP and The Matrix of Confusion: After Professor Snape feeds Harry, et al., mysterious pills, they end up not knowing if they're actually living in a gigantic computer simulation or merely stoned out of their minds. Hilarity results when Hermione and Neo bend some spoons while Ron eats some very special cookies! Meanwhile, Harry has a sinister conversation with Agent Smith.
Pam:
Had to throw that bit in about the werewolves, just to pull yer chain.
HP and the Errant Bus: A freak accident involving a wicker basket in the Room of Requirement throws Harry, Ron and Hermione into an alternate universe. Bereft of magical powers, they board a local bus to find their way home. Little do they know they are about to become hostages to a madman. Now, Harry and his friends must keep the bus going at 50 mph – to save their very lives. See Hermione learn to drive! Watch Ron sit in chewing gum! Hilarity ensues when Harry must climb under the moving bus, using only his wits and a Quidditch protective cup. Starring Stan Shunpike as the dead bus driver. More?
Stumble it!
I'm thinking it's almost time for an animated HP piece, where Hogwartz is visited by an Ogre and his talking donkey.
Of course a lot of people are rooting for the first "NC-17" HP, but that has to wait until Hermione (at the least) is old enough to vote...
Posted by: ben | October 19, 2006 at 12:30 PM