Everything I ever needed to know, I learned from the opera Don Giovanni

Never consent to meet for an illicit tryst in an upstairs bedroom; choose a first-story room with a direct exit.

After accidentally killing the father of your lover, do not stay to wipe your sword or attempt to explain yourself (in song or otherwise); do flee the crime scene at once; do not continue to gad about Central Europe, using your real name in social situations.

Do not proposition a woman on her wedding day; her schedule will be too jumbled and you will just draw undue attention to yourself.

If you must change identities with your manservant in order to meet a new conquest, hire a 'self-starter' for the job, not one who continually has to ask you what to do next, thus threatening to blow your cover.

Do not write down the names of all your former lovers in one book - particularly not the Italian ones.

No lease is too inconvenient to break at a moment's notice, if there is a posse of mezzos and tenors on your tail.

Do not, under any circumstances, taunt the dead.

Comments

[Kathryn]

Excellent!