S.V. phone home

If Sid and Nancy had been directed by Spielberg

[A run-down but still fairly clean alley in Central London]

Sid: Nancy, we shouldn't really be doing drugs and stuff.

Nancy: Sid, we're junkies! What do you expect?

[They are joined--inexplicably--by Nancy's spunky 11 year old niece Jenny. She is dressed in 'tasteful punk', available now at Target and Sears.]

Jenny: Sid, Nancy, stop doing junk for a minute and focus -- we need to get to the Michael Jackson concert. All the kids will be there and the neighborhood children's center depends on it!

[Sid and Nancy are PG-13 stoned. As they kiss, large ET dolls fall all around them. As they die--tastefully--a large mothership hovers over them. The music they hear is the theme from John Williams’ reduction of "God Save the Queen", scored for large LA studio musician ensemble, and available for a limited time wherever CDs are sold.]

Nancy: Sid, are we going to a better place?

Sid: Yes Nancy. [He touches her forehead] I'll always be there for you. [He dies.]

Nancy: I wish I were a man or a spunky pre-teen and had better lines. [She dies.]

Jenny: [Cries a lot, then boards the mothership, accompanied by aliens who look like cuddly and marketable Johnny Rotten action figures.]

- Anthony

Comments

[Tayler]

That was very good. =D

haha