"Tristan" as an episode of "Cheers"

“Tristan” done in the style of “Cheers” --

(Setting: a boat moored off the Boston coast)

Isolde (Dianne Chambers) [sits gloomily] I hate that Tristan, I loathe him, he repulses me ever since he did in my fiance.
Brangane (Carla): He's outside, Blondie, you want me to hock a spitball at him?
Isolde: I want you to go fix up that potion you said you used on your husband, Nick ... No, wait, s’il vous plait ... Go fetch Tristan first.
Brangane: Sure thing, Paleface...(She goes)
Isolde: He would remind me of a character out of D.H. Lawrence, except he hasn't been born yet...

Tristan (Sam Malone): Hey Izzie, you wanted to see me? Knew you couldn't forego your daily shot of old "Tantris" Tristan Malone...
Isolde: You sent me Sumner Sloane's head via UPS. COD. You're pond scum.
Tristan: It was summer and he was beginning to smell. Ha ha.
Isolde: Your sense of humor would flay a mastadon at fifty paces.
Tristan: Is that why you screamed out my name last night in that 15 minute song you were wailing away at?
Islode: That was an aria and you were only the second subject, believe me...!
(Brangane enters with a goblet): Here Blondie, just like you asked...
Isolde: Thank you. Well, Tantris Tristan, would you like to have a drink with me before you deliver me to Coach Melot, your old boss.
Tristan: Sure babe. You know, old Coach has taken a bunch of longswords to the head. He wouldn't know if you and I were doing the medieval midnight mambo...
Isolde: Not if you were the last errant knight in Medieval Boston!
Tristan: Whatever. (Takes the goblet): What ever. (He drinks, she drinks. They look at each other, and suddenly fly into each other's arms.)
Isolde: Brangane, I asked for the potion you killed Nick with!
Brangane: And how do you think I did him in?
(All laugh)...
- Anthony