"La Traviata" as an episode of "Melrose Place"

Aaron Spelling (“Melrose Place”, “Beverly Hills 90210”) blatantly steals from – er, is creatively influenced by the opera “La Traviata”.

Violetta (Courtney Thorne-Smith)
Alfredo (Andrew Shue)
Flora (Heather Locklear)
Baron Douphol (Parker Stevenson)
Germont (Stephen Collins, the minister/father in “Seventh Heaven”)

At Flora’s party:

Violetta: Thanks for the invite, Flora. I mean, life in the country has its moments, but really darling, it’s fantastically dull.

Flora (sarcastically): Oh I’m sure. You were probably just languishing, out there all alone with that hunky Alfredo all to yourself …Tell me darling – was it LOVE?

Violetta (hesitating, then lying gamely): Me? Fall in love? Love’s just a game for a couple of “working girls” like us, Flora. You know a leopardess can’t change her spots. (She turns away. Camera zooms clear up to her tear ducts to catch sight of her watering eyes.)

Flora: Did he mind about … your past?

Violetta (whispering almost to herself): No, he didn’t … but his father did. His father and I had a huge fight about it. And now I – I must think of Alfredo’s happiness, not my own.

Flora (flips hair back, spies Alfredo over Violetta’s shoulder): Don’t I know. (Goes off to flirt with Alfredo.) So. There you are. Ready to taste the delights of city life again?

Alfredo: Flora, you bitch, you’re to blame for Violetta throwing me over, and by God, I’ll see that you pay, if it’s the last thing I do!

(Flora slaps his face.)

Germont, Alfredo’s Father (Newly arrived at the party. Throws off four or five drunken “Melrose Place” cast members who plaster themselves on him as he moves through the house.): Where is Alfredo? I have vital news! I – oof - sir, keep your lips to yourself!

Flora: You’re Alfredo’s father? Why hello! You know, I’ve always had a thing for older men … on occasion …

Germont: Weren’t you the town strumpet in Province?

Flora: You go to hell! (Slaps his face.) I wouldn’t be caught dead in Province!

Baron Douphol (to Germont): If you’re looking for your son, you have exactly one minute to talk to him. I just challenged him to a duel.

Flora: A duel? This is the 21st century, you jerk!

Baron: Okay then, I’ll just take him outside and whack him.

Alfredo: Not if I shoot first! (Weaves drunkenly, waving a gun. Fires a shot into the ceiling. Everyone screams and runs about. Martini glasses crash to the floor. Close-up of Violetta’s heaving bosom. Close-up of Flora’s heaving bosom too, just because.)

Violetta: Alfredo! No! I … I …

Alfredo (Rushes to her, grabs her arm roughly.) Do you love me, Violetta? Dammit, you have to!

Violetta (hesitates, spies Germont, lies again.) No, no I never want to see you again! (Slaps his face.)

Alfredo: You whore!

Germont: Don’t listen to her!

Baron: She’s not herself! She’s dying, damn you, Alfredo!

Germont: It’s true, damn you! I know the truth about her now!

Baron: She does love you! And she’s dying! And it’s tearing me apart that I can never really have her, never see her look at me the way she looks at you, because it’s love. Love, the kind of thing that most people search for all their lives, but never even glimpse except on bad televison shows. Alfredo! Are you listening, damn you?

Alfredo: I don’t believe you! None of you! You’ll all be very sorry! (Rushes outside, throws gasoline on the bushes outside Flora’s house. The next second, the whole house goes up in flames. Alfredo drives off in Violetta’s Jaguar. Off –camera, we hear a blaring horn, screeching tires. The season cliffhanger leaves us wondering who lived and who died.)

- Pam

Comments

[BB]

This is really fun. You should consider doing a real compilation of the emails I have been reading - they are better than most fare in the newspapers or mags I read. Yes, I can too read!!