beancounters

Custom sneakers

Did you know that Keds lets you custom-create your own sneakers? Pick your colors, laces, and the thread in the binding. You can even upload that special image for that one-of-a-kind shoe. Then, Keds produces 'em and mails 'em. Here's a true to life sample.

(Not sure I'd ever really wear these. Except to Blogher, of course.)

What a cut-up: books as art

One of the most enduring search phrases that leads readers here to the Beancounters blog is this one: "what to do with old encyclopedias". Well, here's a great idea. Turn them into art!

Dark Roasted Blend has posted a definitive collection of "books as art" internet memes. Surely one of these would work for you, o intrepid googler.

I recommend you scroll and see the whole range of ideas. I'm enchanted with this framed piece. I have serious doubts about my ability with an Exacto-knife, but do you think somebody would accept a commission?

Friday dog-blogging: really large number

Best clearinghouse for polls and political projections: FiveThirtyEight. Bookmark this site!

ALL UR BANK R BELONG TO US - LOLfed, for the best (?) in banking industry captions.

Karen bought a McDonald's hamburger in 1996. She still has it. This is what it looks like. It's going to be a while before I can consider eating one of these again. On the other hand, I'm glad she didn't keep a bag of fries for 12 years, because then I'd be really torn!

Miraculous escapes! [YouTube]

Brilliant - buy an iPod box and use it to store your Hipster PDA. Of course, there's always the question of what to do with the iPod. Hmm. No, I'm stumped.

For my brother - Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru action figures

Paranoia mix

Possibly the best music video ever. This tune will stay in your head longer than the leek spin song. (Now I'm listening to the leek spin song again. Frankly, it's a toss-up.)

Ollld braaains

This says "Honey, your brain may be 40, but it doesn't look a day over 29."

I hope.

Actually, this was my score on this cute li'l brain game. Numbers will pop up on the screen for a second. Your job is to click on 'em in numerical order.

How'd you do?

Atheist wedding

From the inimitable Toothpaste for Dinner

Yarrr

Avast! Come aboard me 'blogsite, me hearties, an' behold me new pirate banner. Jus' fer today, mind ye, on account of how it be INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY.

An' what be yer pirate name, matey? Mine be TAX EVADIN' MARIE READ. 'Tis a name dear to me heart, it is. For 'twas given to me by me mates, when I passed me CPA exams an' became Ship's Accountant. Aye, a proud day fer any pirate. - What? Did I hear yez a-sniggerin', ye scurvy dog? Ye'd best be believin' that no self-respectin' pirate'd be caught dead sailin' the Seven Seas without a ship's accountant. Them pieces o' eight don' count themselves, y'know. And then there's the tax-sheltered annuities t'be managin' fer th' crew ...

The political dating game

After a solid year of campaigning, time's finally, finally running out before Election Day. Quick, before the absentee ballots arrive in the mail, you should take the time to find out which political candidate most closely matches your idealogy. Take the quiz here.

If you wind up most closely associating with a third party candidate, don't wimp out. Pick Bachelor Number Three. And even if you realize later that his eyes don't track together, at least you'll have had the courage of your convictions.

Just what I needed to know

Hmm. The fact that I emerge from my car each morning absolutely covered in dog hair and lint has not yet motivated me to clean up in there. But now comes this.

LONDON - If a man's home is his castle then maybe his car is his rubbish bin, with a study finding the typical car has 283 different types of bacteria present in every square centimeter (square inch).

Microbiologists from Britain's Aston University found the dirtiest part of the vehicle was the gear stick, home to 356 germs on a square centimeter, while one car boot in a random survey of 25 cars had 850 bacteria in a square centimeter.

That's a lot, isn't it? Centimeters? Yes? See, I'm still a standard measurements kind of woman. All this talk of centimeters and car boots is a little odd for me. I'll try and focus on the lexicographic variances of the preceding article, rather than on the idea that GAZILLIONS OF GERMS ARE CURRENTLY COATING THE INSIDE OF MY CAR. Judging my driving. Criticizing my singing ability.

The worst part is, I still will not get around to cleaning my car. I'll just feel yucky about it for a few days, until I forget.

No, actually, here's what will happen: Bunny will read this blog post. Then she will go out to my car with my keys, her iPod, and our household supply of antiseptic wipes. And she will proceed to thoroughly wipe down the inside of the car. (Though possibly she will wrap up after she finishes the passenger side.)

Memories of You

It's Saturday, so you have plenty of time to play with Ze Frank's new web toy for grown-ups, the Flickr Memory Game. Create, customize, and load a memory game, using photos and images in your own Flickr sets.

And hey, if you don't have an account on Flickr right now, just borrow mine (Flickr screen name beancounter, Flickr set name Downtown Sacramento).

Friday dog-blogging: broken dreams, fractured hips

Kid art refrigerator magnets - Liking these. Would like more comment magnets for other stuff we post on the fridge, like dental appointment reminders and invitations to join the RNC.

Will you need an umbrella today?

Moosebutter is a musical group, self-described as "masters of musical mayhem". Oh, they're the ones! Thanks for clearing that up! I believe Frank Zappa would normally have had something to say about that. Well, anyway, darthvader recommends the Star Wars song, and I do too, because it's really clever, and it has a bit about John Williams at the end. 

Is it soda, or is it pop? Let's go to the map.

Dear Sirs: I am writing to protest against the silly nature of this blog. Please cease immediately. Also, I would like take this opportunity to endorse Michael Palin for President, as I feel he will bring much-needed dignity to the office. Yrs sincerely, Mrs. Arbuckle K. Poochgirdle.

[Poster source]

Tickler phobia

Looky here. The original office tickler file was patented in 1888. [via Unclutterer] How about that?

I recently asked myself why I've never used such a file, even though they're ubiquitous in government agencies. The answer turned out to be that I hate the word "tickle" in any office context. No ... I hate the word "tickle", period. I hate tickles, okay? Y'happy?

Obviously, if I want to build my own file, I should name the damn thing something else. (No, not 43 folders, either. Merlin Mann makes me nervous.)

Doing nothing? Nothing doing

Here's your guided meditation for a Thursday.

You sit down to write a paper. You’ve done all the research you could possibly need to do, but for some reason, you just can’t get started.

Does this mean you’re procrastinating? Ask most anyone and they’ll tell you that you are, but it’s not necessarily true. The things we write aren’t simply a culmination of the research we’ve done into a topic. The mind needs to process new information before it can work with it, and even then, there’s still the matter of what you are going to write about it.

You might think you just need to do some research and get writing, and this is why you sit at the screen unsure of where to start. You haven’t let the project germinate, and it’s like trying to harvest the fruit from a tree while it’s still a seed in the ground. Your brain needs to process that research before it can work with it.

Sometimes I sit and stare around at all the literature I've amassed for a report I've been asked to write, and I just can't think what to do next. The problem may be that I just haven't finished processing what I've read. I should learn to forgive myself, relax and let the pieces of information fall into place naturally.

Of course, sometimes the problem is a dangerously severe chocolate deficiency. But that's another story.

The day no Penny Savers were delivered

It's probably a blessing for my community that I never became a postal worker, because this doesn't seem wrong - it seems tempting. But then, I'm striving in my life to take procrastination to new levels wherever I can.

A Scottish postman working in Germany hoarded at least 20,000 letters at home because he felt his work was too taxing, police said on Tuesday.

The postman in Frankfurt was caught when a neighbor saw him tipping a mail delivery into a rubbish bin and alerted police.

"It's worth mentioning the 23-year-old didn't deliver mail addressed to himself either," local police said in a statement.

Hey, he didn't even deliver his own mail. So at least he was fair about it, amiright?

JKR and the lexicon of doom

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A U.S. judge on Monday halted publication of an unofficial encyclopedic companion to the popular Harry Potter book series in a copyright case author J.K. Rowling argued would threaten other writers.

In spite of being a huge Harry Potter fan, and at the risk of losing my blogger cred, I'm not going to pile on the hate here. I really had no opinion going in about this case. Legal opinions I would read seemed to land on both sides of this issue. Now that the decision has been handed down, maybe we'll get some post-game commentary to mull over.

Tower 3

Just spent a half hour trying to get some very expensive monkeys equipped with enough darts, catapults, bombs and freeze rays to stop hundreds of dangerous, life-sucking bloons from completing a maze. Heaven knows, I tried to help my brave monkey troops with my own road darts, pineapples and glue, but in the end, it was the lead bloons that were our undoing.

Want to know what I'm talking about? No, you don't. Because once you get deep into Bloons Tower Defense 3, it will nag at you, and you'll keep returning to play the game until you finally win. Remember Flash Element TD?

Friday dog-blogging: a different take

[click on  cartoon to expand]

Watch this Volkswagen commercial (yes, Volkswagen) for a very different take on the movie Toy Story. As the kids used to say, my memory has just been sold ...

Post-it Note race

Stiletto sprint - The BBC has made fetishists worldwide very happy.

Stumpy the Duck - A children's story by Ze Frank, illustrated by a few of his viewers. Reminds me a little of the churkendoose ...

Took Mental Floss's Look At Me movie trivia quiz and scored 100%. Boy, that doesn't happen very often. How'd you do?

Sir Surname

Plug your surname into the world names profiler and find out how popular it is throughout the world. Where has your name settled?

I was puzzled but gratified to see that my maiden name is still extremely popular in Australia. I'm thinking of inviting my grandmother to visit there - she once lamented that our family name might die out completely, because her grandsons were not having enough children. And here, unbeknownst to us, there's this whole continent of long-lost family, just waiting to be set straight by my grandma.

Isn't that the dog's breakfast

Good morning - or so I'm told. I'm not sleeping well, which I've decided to attribute to the summer heat and not to darker forces.

By contrast, the dogs have been up early and have already completed their arduous morning routine. They get up at six and go outside, sometimes barking at the fence to threaten the same dogs they've been threatening for five solid years. Pleased with themselves, they roll back inside just when BB or I am making coffee, and mill around the feet until they are given one dog biscuit apiece. Daisy eats hers on the rug; Sammy takes his outside again so that, if Daisy tries to grab his, he can see her coming. Then they regroup to find the other adult. They pester, cajole, and herd that person into the kitchen from wherever he/she is, so they may be given more dog biscuits. Replete and happy, they knock off for the morning.

Daisy's favorite sleeping spot is under the couch, which is only accessible from the back. For obvious reasons, I can't take a picture of it.

Here's Sammy's favorite spot - the dog bed next to my desk chair.

He looks like a cross-section of a dog fetus, already harnessed in utero. Weird. And on that note - I'm outta here.