It's Saturday afternoon, but you have plenty of time left in the day to take a 50+ question Zombie quiz. This comprehensive assessment will help you spot your areas of strength and weakness when it comes to surviving a zombie attack.
I was pleasantly surprised to get a "B" in physical strength. But I only rated a "D" in mental preparedness and "D" in experience. Also, I said I'd prefer a machete to a machine gun. Was that wrong? I don't watch zombie movies.
Today's zombie (MOAB, please--Mobile Ontologically Alternative Being) like today's werewolf (SQLL, please--Sentient Quasi-Lupine Lifeform) has disovered the joys of empowerment and identity politics. The MOAB and SQLL communities reject, fervently, the old, tired stereotypes and calls for a boycott of the perniciously "biased" tests designed--so obviously--by ill-informed individuals outside the community. The ontology mainstreamed should embrace the exciting challenges of our newly and proudly visibly populaces. Instead of chainsaws and shotguns, how about a nice "Brains Buffet" (room-temperature please) or a Full Moon Tea Party (china or Wedgewood, please--no silver). Or a neighborhood-wide boycott of damaging establishment propaganda such as "Shaun of the Dead" or "Skinwalkers"!
No one is so alive as s/he who embraces the undead!
Posted by: Anthony | August 03, 2008 at 11:48 AM
I believe you coined the phrase "my grandmother is ontologically challenged", and I applaud the politically (in)correct analysis.
Posted by: BB | August 04, 2008 at 07:16 PM
Omgbbq how many questions does this thing have? I can appreciate the effort but seriously.
Posted by: bunny | August 05, 2008 at 08:28 AM
Over 50 questions! Finishing the quiz shows the grit and determination you'd need to overcome a zombie attack. I think. BBQ?
Posted by: pam | August 05, 2008 at 08:43 AM