beancounters

Public art abounds at the Capitol

Spied a cool new mural in the downtown on Tuesday, so I risked being late to my lunch appointment to swing over and take a picture. I like murals that play fast and loose with perspective.

The weather has been absolutely wonderful in Sacramento. You know the weather I mean. Sunny but breezy, and just cool enough that when you're sitting on a patio having lunch, you idly wonder where your jacket is. Everyone is getting out to enjoy it for the short time it lasts.

Afterwards, I took a detour through an alley behind the State Food and Ag building, and I swear I smelled cloves. Cloves, cloves, very strong. Their cafeteria wasn't suddenly baking Thanksgiving pies or anything; I ducked in there and sniffed. Are the Food and Ag workers smoking clove cigarettes near the giant vent? It's a Sacramento mystery.

Another mystery: Who are these figures on the side of the Department of Transportation building, and why are they hugging things?

e asked if the figures were meant to be riff on the Art Deco period. I replied they are the Art Deco period - period.

Speed bumps on the road to Hobbitown

This probably happens more often than we know: A guy has been tapped to direct the movie version of a famous book, in spite of the fact he hates the author.

[H]asn't anybody noticed that [Guillermo] del Toro has repeatedly said he doesn't like Tolkien, and that he never finished reading "The Lord of the Rings"? Here's what he told me in Cannes in 2006, when I asked him about the influence of Tolkien and C.S. Lewis on his own work: "I was never into heroic fantasy. At all. I don't like little guys and dragons, hairy feet, hobbits -- I've never been into that at all. I don't like sword and sorcery, I hate all that stuff."

Let's see, he doesn't like "little guys and dragons" or hairy-footed hobbits, and "The Hobbit" would be a movie about what, exactly?

To me, this alone is no reason not to give the job to del Toro. If he doesn't regard the LOTR series with near-religious fervor, he can be more objective in his interpretation and delivery of the story.

Comic madness

It's Saturday, so you have time to give Superman (or other comic book characters) something to talk about on the Speech Bubbler.

Friday dog-blogging: scifi Fido

K-9 has rejoined the cast of the New Dr Who. Somewhere, in another dimension, the metaphysical circle of silly sidekicks is now complete. Frankly, I always wondered why a sentient robot dog even needed the good Doctor in the first place. Maybe to get himself out of tricky situations; if you remember, K-9 could not roll on uneven territory ... nor oil his own wheels ...

Eight fictional cities you wouldn't want to live in. I totally agree about Zion from 'The Matrix', but I could handle the Ewok Village. Them Ewoks is good eatin'. (Eww. Was that a sacrilige?)

When zombies attack, and other sentiments at Wrong Cards.

Flip is a program that reverses whatever you type. Don't try this while drinking.

Speaking of drinking ... over in England, a drunken Darth Vader attacked the founder of a Jedi Church. Really. Are you disgusted, or what? It makes me want to make an announcement:

People of Great Britain! You still haven't ironed out that ridiculous Catholics v. Protestants issue; don't go trolling for more theological conflicts just now. I assure you, the whole Force / Dark Side of the Force debate can be postponed.

Cheerio!

Pass me my red hat

So far, it's been the kind of week where ...

1.  All the clothes that ought to be hung back up in my closet are instead draped all over my dresser. It's getting to be quite a pile.

2. If I'm having a bad hair day, where hair on one side flips up and hair on the other side curls under, I just shrug it off and head for breakfast. Here's the thing: after I leave the bedroom mirror in the morning, I won't consciously catch sight of myself again all day. So my bad hair is not my problem - it's everyone else's.

3. Estimable business establishments are writing to me, and they keep telling me I left little details out of my correspondence, such as totals, account numbers, or my SSN. Why are they so picky? Can't they do without a signature? I can't even hang up my clothes; what makes you think I'll be able to find a stamp for the return envelope?

4. My commuter sneakers are too comfortable to change out of when I get to the office. Sure they look dorky with the skirt and blouse, but [please refer to #2].

5. If I'm walking down the street and Cake's cover of "Guitar Man" pops up on my empeethree player, I start singing out loud, and I (nearly) don't care who's passing by.

Why did they never say your face would freeze that way when you smiled?

When I read the title of this article - Myth Busting Mom-isms, I got the wrong impression. I thought the myths about to be busted were ones like the one about the little gnome in the refrigerator who runs the lights. (My kid believed that for years.) But no, the myths are all those classic deformity-scares. I'm proud to say I haven't told my daughter any of them. Except maybe the one about knuckle-cracking giving you arthritis. I believed that one myself up until very recently.

And my grandmothers both assured me if I ate carrots I would gain the superpower of being able to see in the dark. I proceeded to eat them faithfully ... but my night vision was always particularly crappy.

Anyway, read the rest of the list and tell me which ones you used to be bribed/threatened with, and which ones you still believed (up until now) ...

Remember ...

 

So true.

Barker's Box Set

It's Saturday, so you have time to come on down, and relive the glory days of The Price is Right!

Slate has put up highlights from five decades (yes) of Price is Right history, and they are a hoot. I'm sure I don't need the new four-disc DVD set ... still, I remember this show very fondly.

I started watching in 1972 during summer vacation. Come to think of it, Bob Barker would have looked exactly like this. My best friend Peggy and I would drop whatever we were doing and rush into the house to watch the show. Then sometimes we would build cardboard sets and make the other neighborhood kids play Showcase Showdown.

Playing 45

If yesterday's post seemed contrived, our defense is, it really did happen the way Bunny said. I was sitting here at 7 a.m., trying to think of something to write. But nothing was coming. It was growing late and I was getting pressed for time. "Skip it," suggested Bunny. "I can't. I have to acknowledge my birthday, it's a blog thing," I replied somewhat lamely. So she began dictating to me, which was awkward. After a moment, I just got up out of the chair and gestured her in.

Nice birthday, this one. Turning 45 was kind of a relief. I must have been ready, because I have been self-identifying as 45 for months now. Forty-four is a rest stop; 45 is a destination reached, a milestone. I'm happy to have gotten here.

For lunch, I picked three of the least comatose introverted of my esteemed coworkers and we ducked out for lunch at an Afghani restaurant. I brought back a box of chocolates for everybody else.

BB and Bunny gave me a copy of Life of Brian (shocking we didn't own it before now). And they also gave me a sno-cone machine. Really! It was inspired, considering the hideous temps we're expecting in Sacramento this summer. Bring on the heat; we'll be ready with our frozen treats (and margaritas).

Many Happy Returns

Hello, it's me, Bunny, Pam's daughter, taking over her blog today because she doesn't know what to write! For all of you who don't know already, it's my mom's birthday! I'm guessing she doesn't want me to write how old she is, but maybe she'll tell you guys later. On my blog, Bunny Express, I just tell my age all the time, but that's mostly because I'm eleven.
So anyway, back to Mom. She's a wonderful, sweet, caring, and giving person. Even though she doesn't admit it. So give her the best darn birthday present she's ever had. (By that I mean visiting her and raising her stats.)

Doosh

If only Anakin had had a cat for a Jedi master.

From my mom, who understands the mystic connections between scifi and LOL.

Zip!

They set up one of those parking lot carnivals in our neighborhood this weekend, so I took Bunny and two of her friends.

What carnival would be complete without at least a modest array of the nosebleed rides? I tell ya, there was never a time when I could ride something like this Zipper; my inner ear is always set on 'ultra-sensitive'. I can get dizzy just navigating a roundabout.

And it turns out my kid has inherited it. She turned green after riding something called The Tornado. But her friends loved this Zipper. It's just not fair.

Oh well - we'll always have the Ferris wheel. Heights? We scoff at heights!

Otherwise, a great evening. Many dimes were tossed, many little stuffed animals were won, many cars were bumped on the bumper car ride ...

What'd I say? What'd I say?

Add to this the word "duty". Trust me!

Friday dog-blogging

[loldog via]

Be nice to others because .......

Winners of the 'I Look Like My Dog' contest. I post this because the first dog on the page looks exactly like my mom's best poodle, yet the woman looks nothing like my mother. Mom, if ever you want to try a radical new hairstyle, we say go for it.

Many Worlds, Many Treats. This may be the reason your dog seems so fanatical about sniffing.

"Well, it's possible that you would eat steak at the computer, yes?"

"I do eat steak, yes, and I sometimes eat at the computer, so sure."

"And if you were to eat steak at the computer, you'd probably drop some on the floor."

"I don't know about that..."

"Therefore, it's possible that you dropped steak on the floor. And according to Everett's Many Worlds Interpretation of quantum mechanics, that means that you did drop steak on the floor. Which means I just need to find it."

Travelers IQ Challenge

Here's something cool from my brother, who wrote me and said, "In my quest to find games that are as addictive as the ones you've found ... I am proud to present this one to you."

In the Travelers IQ Challenge, you will get a glimpse of famous monuments and places, and then try and mark their locations on a world map. It goes fast, and if you make rookie moves like mistaking Victoria Falls for Niagara Falls (gulp!), it says encouraging things like, "This is Earth. You know that, right?" Go to it.

Duck 'n' Cover

Great find - it's cold war propaganda films from the 1950's! This movie is just wonderful. Drop whatever you're doing and watch this immediately, because (according to Mr. Passive Voice Fourth Grade Teacher), we live in an Atomic Age and we must be prepared. I don't know what I enjoyed more: Burt the Turtle teaching us how to duck and cover; awkward speeches from the cafeteria women on how to live for two weeks on beans and condensed milk; or young Jerry Mathers feeling up his teacher with his eyes.

What dog breed are you?

Looks like I've been thinking about Dream Job a lot lately ...

Fold-ins are back

It's Saturday (finally), so you have plenty of time to take a trip back to yesteryear. The NYT has a great collection of Al Jaffee fold-ins, the ones that originally appeared in the back of Mad Magazines. Yes, really!

I was about ten when Nixon was in office, and I did not get a lot of these jokes the first time around ...

As long as we're on a Mad jag, let's glance through the definitive collection of Mad magazine covers. Remember when Mad had to start placing the UPC bar code on the front cover? Check the October 1979 cover for their reaction.

Friday dog-blogging: hippity hoppity

Daisy's song:

My Milkbone brings all the dogs to the yard

And they're like, arf-arf-arf-arf

Damn right, arf-arf-arf-arf

I could teach you, but you can't learn tricks

Sparky here does know tricks. Make her show you!

You kids today! With your hair, and your clothes, and your hippity hoppity music ...

[Off topic, I now dearly want this bag. I would carry it with a Martha magazine and a fresh basil baguette from the market sticking out the top. ::sigh::]

How to properly hug a baby. The instructions just slay me.

Fail Dogs. This link is for my daughter. It's like LOL for pessimists, honey.

Cluttermonsters, begone

One positive about Monday's issues was that my husband and I wound up throwing away a mountain of clutter. Well, okay, more like a small hillock of clutter. Shut up! It was still a lot.

We were looking for the original receipt for the car stereo. We couldn't even remember when we'd bought the thing, much less where the receipt had been placed. Had it landed in one of our overly-stuffed "Warranties" file folders? Or (more likely) did it not make it all the way to that promised land, and did it wind up in a shoe box, or a sock drawer, or crushed in the middle of a stack of old bank statements? All likely places had to be searched. And while we searched, we actually purged some of the clutter.

Now, here's what I don't get about humans: we let stuff we don't want pile up, for weeks or months (or years). On some level we hate seeing it every time we go by, but it's like we're too ill-equipped mentally to take action. Then one day, click! We change our minds, we grab trash cans and grocery sacks, we fire up the shredder, and in one protracted moment, we get rid of clutter that had been a such a burden.

What makes us suddenly jump up and go after months of prevaricating? What combination of factors should we be trying to replicate? If I could learn the answer to that, we'd have the self-help website to end all self-help websites.