beancounters

My well-ventilated auto

Well, I didn't have anything better to do on my day off anyhow - my car was broken into last night. The police came around before 8 a.m. and took a statement and an inventory. Next comes an insurance claim and a trip to the body shop. Ugh.

OK, Mom - more details. Some enterprising individual broke my driver's side window and went after the stereo. He could only manage to take the stereo face plate, which I don't think he'll get a lot of money for. Maybe it'll make a nice paperweight. But he also popped the trunk, where BB had left some camera equipment.

Friday funnies

Become the master (or mistress) of traffic jams with the Traffic Simulator. I love this thing because it makes a little more sense why cars on the freeway all suddenly slow down for absolutely no! Freaking! Reason!

Speaking of traffic, I saw this bumper sticker on a car yesterday, and actually had to think about it a moment.

Fifteen great sci-fi movies you didn't know were sci-fi. Not sure I would have gone right to great for the movie 'Sneakers', but I get what they mean. Check out the rest of the list.

Fearmongers, Warmongers Gather For Annual Mongering Conference

According to Newsweek's best and brightest in 1995, this 'internet' thing will never amount to much. So get back to work.

Breakfast Jans

In the late 70's, McDonald's came out with a line of breakfast sandwiches, served in little styrofoam boxes. My mother bought one. She was really impressed with the taste and the convenience. But the styrofoam box? Tacky. "I think I can make these myself," she told us. So she bought English muffins, ham and cheese, and began producing her own breakfast sandwiches, which she modestly named after herself.

And she has eaten one Breakfast Jan nearly every morning ever since. She swears by them - says they keep her energized all morning like nothing else.

Everybody who eats at my mom's house eventually tries a Breakfast Jan. The Truth is spread, and is occasionally received by the faithful. The latest one is my husband BB. Recently diagnosed with diabetes, he needed to switch to an easy, no-sugar breakfast. Lo! He now nukes a salami, cheese and English muffin sandwich every morning. Swears by them. Says they keep him energized all morning. Etc.

Happy Birthday, Mama!

Maspies!

BB, Bunnylou and I were on the road Sunday, talking about whatever, getting all meta about our lives. It occurred to BB and me that we can't call ourselves "yuppies" anymore - if we ever could - because we are no longer urbanites, and we're not exactly young.

BB: What we are is Old ... um, Suburban ... Professionals.

Me: Ospies!

Bunny: YOU'RE NOT OLD!

No eleven year old wants her parents to be considered "old". I think it's a status thing. I can't keep up.

Bunny: You're middle aged!

BB: Middle-aged suburban professionals!

Maspies. You heard it here first, blogfolk. So if the Urban Dictionary ever picks it up, PLEASE! Show me the love! Oh, and do the same for the word "blogfolk". One day, there may be an etymological controversy about my word  - somebody claims he already stuck a flag in it, but I can prove I used it here one month before he did.

The worst duty on the Death Star

My Favourite Colour 'White'
Originally uploaded by StormCab

Today's seemingly-disparate themes are pets and scifi. Only one link combines both ...

Bunny continues to provide the best of the LOLz on her blog. The second one made me laugh out loud. Hence the name? Ah ha.

"Everybody kills Hitler on their first trip." A time travel short story by Desmond Warzel.

Another time travel story ... this time it's vintage Robert A. Heinlein.

And finally, Jerry needs no help playing with his ball. [You Tube] Proof that dogs have that engineering gene missing from people like you and me. (Well, me, anyway.)

And great lyrics quiz rock roll the

You don’t know lyrics until you can recognize them when they're set in alphabetical order.

a and baby be become can come couldn’t fire funeral get girl hesitate higher i if in is it know liar light lose love mire much my night no now on only our pyre say set that the through time to try untrue wallow was we would yeah you

Name that song! The answer, and more challenging lyrics, at Morning News. (via Chaos Theory)

Arthur C. Clarke

At Anthony's behest, we hereby note the passage of one of scifi's luminaries, Arthur C. Clarke. (Link includes a great picture!)

The Star - I agree, this was a life-altering short story ...

His thoughts on 'Star Trek'

His last published short story - a little light on plot and plausibility, but thought-provoking.

Cutter lives!

Digital EQ, the Elfquest Online project, is posting all the old Elfquest comics, one at a time. Issues 1 - 5 of the graphic novel are up now, with more promised. Including the subsequent series, which I never read. Wendy and Richard Pini produced this series back in 1978, before graphic novels really took off. Highly recommended.

For settle or for worse

OK, I'm sorry. I just have to say something. I've tried to be patient up until now, but it's all getting to be too much.

Last week, Elizabeth an' Anthony sat around on the couch an' just sort of ... fell into a calculated logic trap they called an engagement. They're friends, right? They've been friends since grade school. An' friends should be together. An' marriage is one great way for two friends to be together. Q.E.D., an' all that.

Now this week, here's Elizabeth, explaining this benighted alliance to Anthony's (justifiably suspicious) daughter Francie.

Anthony an' Liz are friends; Liz an' Francie are friends; we're all good friends! It's all so perfect!

There's been absolutely no declaration of love here. This is all some sort of crazy domestic transaction of convenience.

Francie's probably thinking, "Friends drink tea together, you passive-aggressive chowderheads - they don't get married."

The first utterance of the 'L' word will be when Liz an' Anthony exchange vows at the alter. The minister will ask, "Do you promise to love, honor --" He be promptly shushed, of course. Anthony will lean forward and delicately point to the page in the Book of Common Prayer. The minister will see a penciled-in revision. Embarrassed at his gaffe, the minister will clear his throat. "Do you promise to be good friends - er, Forevah? An' Eva?" he will ask. Francie will roll her eyes. All will be well.

There. it's out of my system now.

Leprechauns Anonymous!

Green beer is a novel treat to be enjoyed on St. Patrick's Day. But for some leprechauns, it's a full-time addiction. Luckily for them, there's help - 12 big steps of it ...

Wearin' o' th' green - for self-defense

Stuff White People Like: #89 - St. Patrick's Day

This very special white holiday recognizes Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland who helped to bring Catholicism to the Emerald Isle.  His ascetic life is celebrated every year by white people drinking large amounts of Irish-themed alcohol and listening to the Dropkick Murphys.

Well, no drinking will occur in the Beancounter household this holiday. But pinching, that's another thing.

Bunny is kicking off spring break by spending the day at her best friend's house. The day being St. Patrick's Day, she knew if she didn't wear something green, her friend would pinch her mercilessly. Nice tradition, eh? Happy memories of middle school. So, some time in the course of the day Sunday, we acquired a green shirt for her to wear. (It has baby chicks all over the front, and the caption says "Chicks Rule". Heh.) 

But later we were talking to the friend, and ironically, it turns out she doesn't own any green clothing herself. If anyone is in the self-righteous position to deliver St. Patrick's Day pinches, it's my kid. The question is - and I ask this merely for academic interest - will she actually deliver? Or will she take the high road? I will let you know.

BB just left for work, warning me as he went to be sure and wear green to the office or I might get pinched. As if! Where he works, they're a pretty boisterous bunch who take their holidays seriously. By contrast, the culture of my office is so conservative it's bordering on the comatose. I doubt if such whimsical acts of frivolity would be considered appropriate in the workplace.

(Damn, I just channeled the sonorous voice of our director when I said that. Spooky. I need a drink. And a Dropkick Murphys CD.)

WTF stands for ...

Wisconsin Tourism Federation.

No, really.

Honestly! You kids today! Turning a perfectly good, workable acronym into something dirty. Your minds are in the gutter, that's your whole problem.

Well, I hope the tourism experts don't get scared away from using WTF in their logo, the way WTF Ministries did. See what you did there? You mocked them shamelessly, and now WTF Ministries has folded up their virtual tent and gone away. I hope you're pleased with yourselves.

O hai, herez yer Friday readz

The 20 Biggest Record Company Screw-ups of All Time

Everybody's remarking on #2, the famous story in which the Beatles did not get signed by Decca. Just as interesting to me was this recap of Napster being squashed by the record labels.

Napster’s users didn’t just disappear. They scattered to hundreds of alternative systems—and new technology has stayed three steps ahead of the music business ever since. The labels’ campaign to stop their music from being acquired for free across the Internet has been like trying to cork a hurricane—upward of a billion files are swapped every month on peer-to-peer networks.

'Like trying to cork a hurricane'. Ain't it the truth, Kato? But you didn't hear that from me ... I don't want to be the next #5.

Very good news about HP7 (for Harry)

LOS ANGELES - Harry Potter was the center of seven novels, but he'll star in eight films. The final book in the wildly successful series will be made into two films, the Los Angeles Times reported Wednesday.

Producers are expected to announce Thursday that J.K. Rowling's last "Potter" installment, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," will be split into two parts on the big screen. The first film is slated for release in November 2010, with part two following in May 2011.

I'm more than a little relieved. We know how packed with brand-new info Book 7 was and how much would have to be cruelly chopped out of yer standard-issue American movie, even if they stretched it to 3 hours.

But I'm concerned about our three main actors. Won't they be, like, 60 by the last installment?

"Yeah, I lost me ruddy owl in that fight with Voldemort, but I was too puffed to fly down an' get 'er, innit?"

Don't get on the bad side of a Wienis

Cmdr Sue thinks all I have around my desk is textbooks and books on bureaucracy. So to confirm or dispel her fear, she tapped me to play the 1-2-3 meme today.

Here are the meme rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people & post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come see.

Let's see ... I'm sitting in a room with bookshelves to either side of me ... but the one nearest would be -- ::re-e-eaching:: -- this one:

How could the king, divinely blessed, allow this abominable act? Or was it the king? Was it not, perhaps, an action of the accursed regent, Wienis, without the knowledge of the king at all.

See? Not a textbook. It's Foundation by Isaac Asimov, a book on my reading list right after I finish Count Zero. I hope this Wienis guy isn't a main character. I might spend the whole book snickering. Wienis. Heh.

If you want to play along, consider yourself tapped!

Photog season

It's (nearly) spring, a time when a young girl's fancy turns lightly to thoughts of architecture.

Geez, that didn't work at all. Let me try again.

It's spring, and downtown Sacramento is once again a joy to behold. The glass buildings reflect the blue skies. The Victorians have been washed clean by all the rain, and are not yet dimmed by dust and smog.

I'm resolving once again to do some serious walking at lunchtime here. I'll take my camera, too. Who wants to join me?

The TRUE 3 a.m. phone call test

 

Once again, give it up for PhD Comics.

Text of our lives

So, we were talking about instant messaging replacing the old-fashioned need to speak out loud, remember?

My kid saved her money and bought herself a hand-held Nintendo DS Lite. This thing is a marvel. Not only can you play games on it, but when others of its kind are within range, they can interact with each other. It's possible to chat, either by writing or by typing out text.

This weekend there were three girls at the house, each with one of these. One would draw a figure, then send it out and the next girl would add to it and send it again. There was much giggling going on. Not sure I want to know exactly what they were drawing.

But this electronic parallel-play reminded me of the two times I went to Grace's Woolfcamp - once at her house, and then in Redwood City the following year. Having just come from BlogHer, laptops came out and we sat around the living room or the patio, blogging (and eating) (and drinking, oy vey) while discussing the things we'd learned. Some who went to Woolfcamp resented the computers, finding them an intrusion. But I think being able to read each other's live-blogging added a cool layer to the discussions that day.

And no, I don't think electronics will replace conversation. Come on, blogfolk, if three generations of TV-viewing hasn't already done this to us, nothing will.