beancounters

For Bunny

HP7 Potterpuffs! And more. (Warning: spoilers.) [via Chaos Theory]

I gotcher chart right here, buddy

This is a recurring theme here at Dream Job. (Click the comic to biggify.)

I'm also getting used to sitting in conferences and hearing the phrase "I think we need just one more chart."

Bean who?

The Sacramento Bee Scene section's whole "Golly, isn't the innernets the bestest" attitude is sometimes grating.

Today, our local paper published an article on the tenth anniversary of blogs. [Subscription req.] Of course, if you don't read the online version, you might not know. In all likelihood, I'm the only blogger in Sacramento who still takes the paper, so that could be problematic. Maybe I ought to send the link around.

Not only that, a few weeks ago, this Sacbee journalist e-mailed a bunch of us local bloggers to ask for our favorite blog. (I think he got our links from Ipso Sacto, which semi-belongs to the Bee is owned by RT Rider.) I sent the journalist links to Lori and Maya, and I also gave some pithy quote about how blogs are teh bomb for fortysomethings. The guy wrote back and said, gee, thanks, I can maybe use that, but in order to publish it, I need your full name. Wait, what?

So I go, sorry, no way. And he goes, sorry, too bad. And he didn't use it. Which to me is all kinds of ironic. Especially when, in the article, he inevitably trotted out the Dooce chestnut, and proceded to devote much space to the choice some people make of blogging anonymously. Yet it's impossible to print an anonymous quote? Oy. There's still such a chasm between online and print, that it blows my mind.

Hope I don't have to be called a Dudette or anything

It's Saturday, so you have plenty of time to join the world's slowest-growing religion, Dudeism.

I think I'll get ordained first, and ask questions later.

The original dude, the O.D. if you will, was surely Lao Tzu, the author of the Chinese classic the Tao Te Ching. Lao Tzu was so incredibly dudeish that no one is even sure if he existed or not. All that we know of him comes from a tale, possibly apocryphal, in which the great sage got fed up with Chinese civilization, and was asked to scribble down his accumulated wisdom before he split, never to be heard from again. [...]

Virtually all Western Dudeism can be traced to [Heraclitus] who said in his single surviving document On Nature, “You cannot step into the same river twice” – an early incarnation of our modern “go with the flow” maxim. Like Lao Tzu, he also stressed that (and I am paraphrasing here) we need to chill out, take it easy, roll with the punches, and everything will be as copasetic as can be under the circumstances.

I did have one question - can a chick be a dude? Looks like the answer is yeah - at least there are a few women honored among the Great Dudes in History.

LOLGODDESS

LOLGODDESS, originally uploaded by beancounter.

There appears to be room for a message using Impact font. I'm just sayin'.

A weighty observation

I'm finally seeing a little progress on the Forced To Park Ten Blocks From Your Office^TM weight loss plan. I'm no longer pushing my panic weight - I'm, like, ten pounds below it now.

It turns out, eating king-sized packs of M&Ms in the afternoon? Not so good for you. I know, right? Dieting is a mystery.

The Urban Curators want YOU

Begun as a student project in Providence, the Urban Curators have a mission: to look at urban decay in a whole new light. Starting by mounting temporary frames over graffiti and peeling paint, and then snapping photos. Anyone is invited to join the project - there's even a pdf of a gilt-edge frame and a little curator card for downloading.

It does look like this website is taking a sabbatical, unfortunately ... there are no pictures linked to the map. Still, who needs an excuse to take pictures of randomly framed stuff?

Li'l hummers

Sacramento photographer Matthew Adams shares some amazing photos of a hummingbird nest, from its humble beginnings to its heydey as a crowded home for three. And all this bird-hatching happens in a nest only slightly wider than a penny!

Statetris

If you like Tetris, try your hand at Statetris! I got the states in place in a dismal 5:32 on my first time through. Probably would have gone faster, but I suffered temporary amnesia and tried to place Louisiana above Florida. Hey, it could happen to anybody. [via Neatorama]

Life imitates Scooby Doo

Did these ten mysterious events really happen, or are they Scooby Doo plots? Take the Mental Floss challenge. (I only got 70% right. And if it weren't for you darn kids, I'd've gotten away with it!)

Done!

Perfect. Loved it. Who else is done? Show of hands ...

(Warning: spoilers will soon appear in the comments.)

Marathon

BB: Does anybody want to go swimming today?

Bunny: [silence]

Me: Um ... Sorry, if we go in the water, our books will get wet.

Yes, it's a marathon reading session at the Beancounter house. Bunny and I got home last night and started our respective HP7s. We read until 1 a.m., and then got up early and resumed. BB started today and claims he is already on pg. 442, but he's just messing with us.

Yes, we bought three of the same book. Yes, that is so weird. No, you've never heard of such a silly thing before. Yes, you have got to laugh about us to all your friends, but please don't link back to us. Give us assumed names, at least.

We're on Chapter 11 and it's 11 a.m. Taking a break now to blog while Bunny grabs a shower.

Am now utterly convinced, though I suspected it years ago, that Rowling patterned the allies and enemies in this series after WWII. One wonders if that will carry through to the end? No, must not speculate.

OK, she's almost done. 'Bye.

Series of unfortunate ads

It's Saturday, and if you're my kind of fanatic, you're too busy reading HP7 to check blogs today.*

For the rest of you ... you have plenty of time to gaze upon the ironic splendor of these 15 unfortunately placed ads.

*Guess what? For as much as BB and I were anticipating HP7, it turns out neither of us ordered a copy! We each though the other had done it, and never got around to actually asking each other. Meanwhile, my brother took his son and my Bunnylou to Borders last night for the big HP Deathly Hollows Ball. They were out until 2 a.m. Now Bunny is going to get way ahead of me in the book, while I work my way through throngs of li'l wizards at the bookstore this morning, buying my own copy. Drat!

The Breakfast Wand

[Here, Anthony ... It's kind of a work in progress.]

Snape [played by Ben Stein]: Welcome to detention, everyone. Mind the swamp. Please take a sheet of parchment and write an essay on why you think you're here. Is everyone present? Potter ... Potter ... Potter ... [Exit.]

Harry [to Neville]: I can't believe I'm a sixth year student and I'm still too stupid to avoid detention. Why are you here?

Neville: I ... well, I was really upset about getting a 'Troll' grade on my Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. You know my grandmother ... what she'll say ... so I was going to finally end it all, and strangle myself with some Devil's Snare.

Hermione: Oh, poor Neville.

Neville: Turns out it was a Weasley's joke Devil's Snare, and it just cut off the circulation in my --

Draco: God, you people are all a bunch of pansies!

Pansy: Hey!

Draco: You wanna know what my old man did to me when I took my O.W.L.s home? It was a banner year in the ol' Malfoy household! He said 'Smoke up, Draco!' And then he gave me this. [Rolls up his sleeve and shows the Deatheater snake.]

Pansy: Eww, tattoos are so sixteen years ago.

Shelter from the spoilers

Hiding out from a cruel online world that wants to shove spoilers into my open eyes is getting more and more difficult. Luckily for us all, here at Beancounters nobody has a clue - and we're willing to share all we don't know. So hang out here today and have some laughs; it's safe.

Anthony riffed on 'mouse's earlier remark:

Harry (hanging over a cliff): You killed my father.

Snape: Dumbledore never told you what happpened to your father...

Harry: He told me enough. He said you and Wormtail sold him out to the Dark Lord!

Snape: No, I am your father.

Harry: No! That's impossible!

Snape: Search your feelings, Harry. You know it to be true. And by the way, Hermione Granger is your sister...

[This could be the most original, thrilling scene possible in the hands of a great director. So for God's sake, don't let Lucas get near it...]

Actually, I think I like this one better:

"The Breakfast Wand"

[Harry, Hermione, Neville, Draco and Pansy are forced to do detention (without wands or spellbooks) in the dungeons of Hogwarts while Snape and Filch bitch about how Dumbledore ruined their lives. John Hughes will direct.]

Harry: Emilio Estevez
Hermione: Molly Ringwald
Neville: Anthony Michael Hall
Draco: Judd Nelson
Pansy: Ally Sheedy
Snape: Ben Stein
Carl the Janitor: Jeffrey Jones

Which will it be?

Borders is giving away stickers with every copy of HP7 reserved in advance of the release date. You get to choose whether Snape will betray the forces of good, or finally prove his innocence.

When the Borders clerk wasn't looking, I made off with one of each. What a madcap!

If you're into this sort of thing (and a few of you are), go ahead, grab one of these jpgs and post it before Saturday.

Cover art

Do you know who Faith Hill is? Can you picture her in your mind's eye? She's a pretty woman, isn't she? Well, simply 'pretty' don't cut it in the land of women's magazines. Here's a revealing look at Redbook's photoshop partay. Look how they airbrushed the hell out of her already nice-looking photo until she looks like a pasty, bland robot with poles for arms and hair that actually weighs her head down. Disgusting. (For a non-animated analysis, go here.)

Yellow fever

So, just what IS Harry standing in on the cover of HP7?

It looks like the Colusseum in Rome, but less crumbled. Hmm. Maybe at the end of the book, Voldemort challenges Harry to an old-fashioned chariot race in an overrated tourist attraction. And one of the rules of engagement is, the participants must wear their baggiest, skankiest-looking school robes. 'Cause day-amn.

Update: Anthony thinks it's that room in the Ministry of Magic where Sirius disappeared/died in #5. Your thoughts? I don't remember it being that yellow.

Later update: Bunny says it looks like our local arena, which would make the Deathly Hollows the new wizarding basketball team. And Harry's pose on the front cover is right after game-winning  lay up shot. I like it.

For what it's worth

78_image.gif, originally uploaded by LeonardKlaatu.

A classic from Ballard Street.

Week at Grandma's

In spite of BB and I both having brand-new jobs to which we are chained, we do want Bunny to be able to look back at this summer, years from now when she's in therapy, and be able to say she Did Lots of Stuff.

So she's spending one of her last weeks of vacation at Grandma's house. And she took Daisy with her - not Grandma's first choice, but probably the best choice between our two dogs, as Daisy is Bunny's True Friend, while Sammy has glommed onto me pretty hard since he moved in.

I presume there'll be lots of quiltmaking and dog-walking and game-playing going on this week. When I called last night, Bunny had wiped the floor with Grandma over that annoying Connect Four game -- but the week is still young, and my mother can be a ruthless board game player!