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May 29, 2007



My kids contributed to the earnings too...they loved it. I used the time for a nap. Far more entertaining these days.


I cannot help remembering back in, say, 2004, upon seeing the posters for the upcoming "Pirates" movie the first thought that ran through my ever cynical mind was "OMG--Can Disney get any more desperate than making films out of THEME PARK RIDES?" This was immediately followed by the post- "The Ring" speculation that Gore Verbinski was merely a David Lynch clone director without the midget or mynah bird.
Oh well, I was wrong and I admit it. The "Pirates" films may not be great art (outside of "Liquid Sky" and "THX 1138" what is?) but they have achived a kind of pop iconic status few other films can claim to (ie, they've made HUGE buck and almost deserved to). And given a choice between grandiose pop entertainment based on theme park rides and wretched non-entertainment based on video games ("Silent Hill" afficionados take note: take the kid to a therapist FIRST; then, if that fails, try the deserted coal town!) I think a film based on "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" (wouldn't Lindsey Lohan be PERFECT for the vain, spoiled and self-destructive Mr. Toad!!) or "Captain Eo" (dibs Usher for the title part) would kick posterior!
Any thoughts anyone?


Well, nobody wants to see LL in a green toad costume. But if she could be a figurative Mr. Toad, you could be onto something. I'd like to see a movie based on the Tiki Room. Set in modern times, with a bird vet from Iowa who takes a job in Tahiti, and it all goes spectacularly wrong until he meets tropical birds that can talk. They should lead him to treasure or something. There should be a bad guy. And a native girl. It should have travel, adventure, comedy, and a bit with a dog.


"Toad costume?" How very pre-WETA/ILM FX House...
I'm thinking more LL in a motion-capture digital toad mode. Same bratty actress, new amphibious body!
OOh--"Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln" as directed by Michael Bay--AL turns out to be a particularly benevolent Opticon! "The Microscope Ride"--Dennis Quaid shrinks and shrinks until he's mano an mano with an atom!
Too bad "20,000 Leagues" and "The Haunted House" have already been claimed. And I still think maybe "Captain Eo" and Spike Lee could shake hands if the $$ was good enough!
Frankly, my knowledge of Disney attractions ended in 1981; the last time I was actually in the park. So if anyone has updates, do let me know.


I hope they do a feature film based on someone taking Ecstasy and getting trapped inside "It's a Small World."

Kind of like "The Sound of Music" meets "Dawn of the Dead."


How abour Eli Roth ("Cabin Fever" "Hostel") directing a considerably more gruesome version of either "The Mainstreet Electric Parade" or "Swiss Family Robinson"? (I had a brief outline for a version involving a shipwrecked Navy patrol starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall and directed by Ang Lee but everyone I showed it to went "no snake, no greenlight" and when backers in Provincetown and the Russian River turned me down I knew it was a lost cause...)
And no one was terribly thrilled about my idea for a "Matterhorn" flick directed by Renny Harlin either.

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