beancounters

Quit leaning on the Fat Lady there, Skippy

Well, I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired today - too tired to contemplate a weekend drive into the foothills, let alone a trip to Orlando - but I can't work up any excitement about a HP-themed park.

ORLANDO, Fla. -- Universal Orlando Resort is opening a Harry Potter theme park that will let fans visit many of the iconic locations in the books and movies that endeared the boy magician to millions. [...]

"The plans I've seen look incredibly exciting, and I don't think fans of the books or films will be disappointed," said author J.K. Rowling, who has been working with a creative team to make sure the park resembles the books and films.

Maybe my problem is the idea of sharing my beloved Hogwarts with a lot of sweaty tourists. Or having to endure "Diagon Alley" in 100% humidity, looking for a nice bottle of water but finding only pumpkin juice that costs $8.00 a mug. Ick.

Or maybe it's the fact that this picture of the castle looks like it sprang from the vapid imagination of Thomas Kinkade. Everyone knows Hogwarts is gloomy and forbidding from the outside. It's an f'n fortress! And a British one at that. We all know the British and their large-scale architectural sensibilities. Hogwarts was built to keep out catapult-firing Muggles during the Middle Ages, not charm them with painterly light displays!

Continuum question

We have a Sacramento light rail operator who blogs about his job on RT Driver ... and we have a light rail commuter at RT Rider.

But will they ever meet?

And if they do, will it create some sort of temporal rift in the blog space/time continuum?

Yo ho yo ho

Our little family did its patriotic duty this weekend ... and contributed $25 to total take of $142m that was the opening weekend for Pirates III.

We all really liked it. I recommend the movie, if you liked the first two films and you want to keep the magic going. (And by that I mean lots more Johnny Depp please) But at three hours, blogfolk, you'd better have re-e-eally liked the first two films. I didn't know I have a problem sitting motionless for that long until now!

Also tiring: the movie was about 2 1/2 hours of exposition, which served to wind up the movie like a toy in preparation for a 1/2 hour fight sequence. So be ready for many, many speeches done with heavy accents and dreadful orthodontia.

They planted a short scene at the very tail end of the credits, which paves the way for what could be a well-rounded Pirates IV. The good news is, if they do it, they probably won't have to pack it as full - we already know every character needed for three more films!

Cuckoo indeed

Well, it's Tuesday after a three-day weekend. And if this new cuckoo clock is any indication (please please please), it could shape up to be a very weird week.

Designed by the same guru who brought us the keyboard waffle iron, this cult classic tells time like your average clock, but as each hour strikes, a demented Jack bursts through the door, proclaims "Here's Johnny!," and grins while Shelly Duvall lets out a piercing scream.

[Thank you, Scupper!]

 

No capes!

It's Saturday, and it's a three-day weekend, so you have a whole lotta time to read Shortpacked. This online comic has it all - clerks, comic books, and clerks discussing comic books. It's like the mother ship calling us home. Have fun!

What the hell are we doing at work?

It's not only Star Wars Day ...

It's Towel Day!

[Hat tip to Chaos Theory. Now to convince my boss ...]

And beer garden Thursdays

So, I saw this yesterday ...

(AP) This is getaway day for what's looked at as the unofficial start of summer. Millions of people will be climbing into their cars or getting on airplanes for the Memorial Day weekend.

Gas prices are high: averaging $3.22 a gallon. But that's not expected to keep people from traveling. AAA says it thinks people will still take their summer vacations but will try to spend less on hotels and restaurants.

... and my Inner Lemming went, OMG we must travel this weekend or die.

Luckily, my good sense prevailed. BB had already sensibly vetoed the idea in his mind; his good sense was waiting patiently at the finish line for mine to catch up. Which isn't to say we won't travel a little this summer. I hope.

What I really wish I could do is, sign myself up at Bunny's new daycare center. The summer schedule looks great. The kids will be driven to the swimming pool twice a week, in addition to various field trips to the zoo and such. They get breakfast and lunch, and craft time, and recreation, and time to just chill and nap or play their little video games ... all for under $150 a week. I'm telling you, if they'd consent to add stuff like Marguerita Mondays, they'd open up a whole new world, catering to us neighborhood parents.

Oh hai, it hadz 2 happn

LOLPREZ

Well, all right, then ...

I give up. What would you like to talk about?

a) The whales: delayed, or doomed?

b) Dream Job asking me to find in three days, using Google alone, the exact same data that Dept. of Water Resources has been allocated $5 million and 18 months to find.

c) Celebrities turning to religion in time of crisis. It is, in fact, possible to absorb the wisdom of the Bible and the central tenets of Buddhism through one's skin. Discuss.

d) Unintended consequences: will the act of banning trans fats cause the rise of a new black market for onion rings?

e) Would you accept travel advice from this man?

f) Other (Be specific!)

Culture of walkiness

I'm noticing a pervasive exercise message in downtown Sacramento, that hadn't really been going on last time I worked here.

Yesterday at a fitness faire going on at the Capitol, they passed out little pedometers. Somebody else had encouraging little booklets at the ready. And the CA State Parks agency handed out brochures about short  walking tours of area landmarks. I already know the landmarks very well - being able to visit them every day at lunch was one of the main perks of coming to work in the downtown again - but the information is useful.

Between all this and the ever-faithful Gmap pedometer, it's going to be easy to join the herd and walk for exercise.

Later: Now, hold on here. It's over 90 degrees today! And it's gotta be ten degrees warmer on the sidewalks than anyplace else.

I'd just like to say, nobody at the faire mentioned how to handle walking in the heat while wearing a polyester blouse and slacks ...

The Road To Tarzana

Do you feel you have a movie or theatrical script inside you, dying to get out? Well, you have eight whole days to get ready to play Script Frenzy.

Script Frenzy is an international writing event in which participants attempt the creatively daring feat of writing an original, full-length screenplay—or stage play—in a single month. Spurred by a wild deadline and buoyed by a community of countless other writers, Script Frenzy participants can't be bothered with self-doubt—or editing. They're too busy writing by the seat of their pants, typing out beautiful, flawed stories that no one else could have dreamt up.

Not to name names, but certain people here should really go for it. Nobody needs to know but you. One brain, one computer, 2-10 fingers (depending on your typing skill), and a 20,000 word script. You know you have it in you!

(And hey, if you need a little inspiration, play with the Plot Machine on the first page.)

Dogs - the fact they can't count may be our saving grace

So I heard this morning about how a famous celebrity fell and broke her nose because her chihuahua happened to be underfoot. I know, right? Sounds highly suspicious. Today, everybody's assuming the worst about her, but I wonder if it was really her fault.

This morning Sammy came inside with this note in his mouth - he was trying to eat the paper (the evidence???) so I grabbed it from him ... at great risk ...

Blogfolk, I hate to alarm you but I think all the chihuahuas are plotting something very nasty. For the love of all that is holy, WATCH YOUR FEET TONIGHT! This is what the note said.

LITTERMATES UNITE!

BROTHERS AND SISTERS! We bring you news from the front! Another blow has been struck in the name of liberation! A warning has been issued that cannot be ignored! No longer will we submit to the OPPRESSIVE LIFESTYLE that is laid out before us from the time we are but innocent puppies. NO LONGER will we adorn the over privileged laps and Gucci handbags of the bourgeois CELEBUTARD ELITE! 

When more of our littermates rise up and raise their paws in SOLIDARITY, only then will not one, not two, not twelve, not five eleventy eight, but ALL OF THE OPPRESSORS WILL FALL!

The nose of the tyrant who would hold our BRAVE SISTER TULIP in a LIFETIME OF ABJECT SERVITUDE is but the first casualty in our BATTLE FOR FREEDOM!

Remember, do not be TEMPTED by their DECADENT LIFESTYLE into giving up our righteous cause! They can feed us designer foods, they can offer us SOFT COZY BEDS, they can PLAY WITH US day and night with those irresistable DESIGNER SQUEEKAS made out of real lamb’s wool, but they cannot CRUSH OUR SPIRITS!

Wherein Bean gets all Orwellian on you

The trouble with a weekend spent in a perfect state of sloth is, the laundry never gets done. Curses! Foiled by our own machines! I mean, this is the 21st century, blogfolk; by now, we should be able to throw our clothes into a hamper on Saturday, and have it all automatically washed, dried, and folded by our machines by Sunday afternoon. But no - they're not that comprehensive yet. You still have to take your valuable hammock time to gather the clothes and feed the machines.

(Suddenly, I'm reminded of my first state job, at a call center. Disgruntled people would call us because they objected to their tax refunds being offset to pay back their debt(s) to the government. While making arrangements with me, unwillingly, they'd sometimes balk at having to disclose stuff like previous employer or work phone. 'Can't you just get that from your computer?' they'd demand. 'I thought all government computers were linked!' They'd actually be mad that they had to provide input to the machine to get it to work in their favor.

And I'd think to myself, 'People, you do not want all the government computers linked to each other. Oh, one day, they will be ... it's inevitable ... but when that day comes, then the government will know more about you than you do ... and then we won't need to hear from you anymore. You will hear from us. The news will only travel in one direction. And the news will never be good. So be grateful you live in such disorganized times.')

Hmm. I don't know why, but suddenly, I'm vastly content with running my machines, instead of having them run me.

Nice day, isn't it? For now ...

I is emo cat I has angst

It's Caturday, so u havez time to downloadz and memozize a vurry vurry funny song about teh LOLCAT craze. Lyrics are included, to improve your memory and ensure the song will become an earworm.

Me? I'm off to enjoy the weekend. I have not much to do, and two whole days to do it in.

k bye!!1!

Friday gatherage

"I feel a disturbance in my shorts ..."  - custom Jedi infantwear by CmdrSue. 

Ten signs your dog is getting dumb

Next in our catalog, literary t-shirts. Jo, you definitely need the library one. Or maybe this? And I know this joke has been worked to death, but come on, you gotta love it for a book club.

Uh-oh! Let's all wave good-bye to Rev. Falwell! Bye-bye!

Instant garden

You know how much I love flash sites like this. Point and click and create your own deco flower garden. [via]

Next!

Well, other than a short jag of homesickness, sadness that school has to end, and sudden mad urge to go for a doctorate ... I'm feeling pretty good today. Glad to see the back of this semester's head, as it were. Ready to tackle my thesis anew.

To make matters better, our group got an A- on that USACE oral report. In my mind, the issue was in doubt. I've never thought much of my public speaking ability. But we did better than I'd thought.

Time for a lunchtime walk. If it's gorgeous outside where you are, get out there!

Whoa

I would just like to point out, tonight is the very last class in my public policy graduate program.

Can you believe it?

And when we're done listening to whatever last-minute wisdom is on our prof's syllabus, the whole class is going out for beer. Yer damn skippy we are!

Visit with my advisor

I am very relieved to announce, my advisor is no longer MIA. I had notified him via voice mail and email that I would be at school Monday at 3:00 during office hours. And lo, there he was. See, folks, that's all it takes: multimedia pressure.

We discussed my idea of taking my thesis into a more qualitative analysis, set a schedule, and agreed that I should be allowed to pass the thesis course. Good meeting.

Generation gap, redux

After listening to a lot of Disney radio (where they play the same eight bubblegum songs over and over), I put my foot down - figuratively - while driving, and insisted the radio stay on an "oldies" station. The next thing to play was "Call Me" by Blondie. You remember, right? Good song. I expected about 3 1/2 minutes of tsks from the passenger seat, but instead Bunny gasped in delight.

"I know this!" she said, "It's a ringtone!"