Lemme at them history books

I've been compulsively clicking on a website that tells you what other people your age accomplished throughout history. And the good news is, for 44 year-old people, it looks as if the field is wide open - WIDE OPEN - for accomplishments. Look at this:

At age 44:

Assistant cashier Jim Priceman returned an envelope containing $37.1 million in negotiable bearer certificates found outside 110 Wall Street.

Alexander Wilson, a Scots-American ornithologist, saw a 250 mile long flock of passenger pigeons and estimated that it consisted of 2 billion birds.

George Washington crossed the Delaware River and captured Trenton, New Jersey.

See? Only three 44 year-olds accomplishing internet-worthy stuff in over 200 years. That means anything I can get done at this age? Will go right into the history books, baby. Piece of cake.
 

Comments

First of all, you're not 44, you're only...what?...23 or so?
When Einstein was 23 he had already discovered girls.
When Darwin was 23 he busily being sea-sick over the railng of the HMS Beagle somewhere off the coast of South America.
When Patrick Stewart was 23 he was already bald.

Compared to you, however, these people accomplished NOTHING! In 23 mere years you have combined the careers of flute player, mother, wife, dog-blogger, Unitarian advocate, Erisian deity, job-hopper, lettuce-explicator, producer, screenwriter and Policy Guru par excellnce! That's real achievement. no ifs, ands or donkeys about it!
Pat yourself on the back. Or better yet, get your legions of rabid admirers to do the work for you!

[e]

yeah, well enjoy it while you can. mine, on the other hand, merely *begins* with:

Painter Pablo Picasso completed his masterpiece, Guernica.

sigh.

[uneasy rhetoric]

Screw Michelangelo and Dickens, how about that igpay atinlay ibleay!

At age 37:

After four years, Michelangelo finally finished painting the ceiling.

Jersey Joe Walcott became the oldest man ever to win the world's heavyweight boxing title.

Charles Dickens wrote David Copperfield, considered to be his greatest work.

Esther ("Eppie") Pauline Friedman Lederer took over the "Ann Landers" advice column. Her twin sister, Pauline Phillips, began writing the "Dear Abby" column under the pseudonym Abigail Van Buren. They became known for their common sense advice on subjects such as not pretending to be someone you're not.

Opera singer Beverly Sills finally achieved international prominence in a production of Handel's Julius Caesar.

Earl Vickers became the first person to translate the entire Bible into Pig Latin.

[Casey]

This was my result:

"Music teacher William Herschel discovered Uranus."

I swear, he did not.