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March 29, 2007



Working at home takes more discipline than working in an office. It even takes more discipline than getting kids to bed on time.


1) Convince her that "early" is the new black.
2) Convince her that "late" is the old Britney.
3) Remind her that there's only one thing standing between her and Lord Vodemordt and that's getting out of the house by ______.
4) Hint that there will extra teenage perks availble for her (more dating hours, free Bjork CDs, Lindsy Lohan and Jonathon Rhys-Meyers subbbing as mom and dad) provided she plays ball with you now. Then, of course, pretend like you never bargained with her at all when she is a teen.
5) Retro Parenting: Threaten to send her to a military school if she crosses you.
6) Fox News Tactics: Tell her that surveys show that 87% of all young girls who don't get out of bed by ______ grow up to be Chelsea Clinton.
7) Point out that it's extremely easy to rip entire Diamanda Galas CDs to her Ipod and set it for "shuffle repeat"!
8) Threaten that unless she is up and about by _____ she is allowed only Mixolydian modes to sing.
9) Tuba lessons. With Anne Heche. Weekly.
10) Tell her that all the ponies in the neighborhood are saying bad things about her and she's not even 13 yet.


Change the clock but don't tell her.


Oh dear, Bunny too? I can't tell you how many times I've been scolded for not giving him enough time to change into his Yee for Tae Kwon-do. I have no advice for you other than this: YOU should pick your favorite poison and start the day with a shot of it until she adapts to the routine. At least one of you would be happy! :D

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