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July 24, 2006



Mark my words: SOAP (OMG--do you think that was deliberate?) will become the #1 grossing movie of 2006, leading to an Oscar nomination for SLJ and a veritable renaissance of People-Trapped-With-Dangerous-Creatures Films:

Snakes On A Sub: Don't laugh, there's an ancient made-for-TV-movie called "Fer de Lance" about a group of people trapped aboard a mini-sub crawling with the aforementioned vipers. Why its creators haven't sued the makers of SOAP is beyond me...

Snakes On An Elevator: Trapped bewteen floors in a building on fire. Think SOAP meets Towering Inferno....

Pirates of The Caribbean: Snakes's Revenge: Worth it merely for the thought of Jack Sparrow cocking an eyebrow at a bunch of grimly amusing vipers...

Snakes On A Brokeback Mountain: OK, its probably too cold in Wyoming for snakes to be a serious threat, but maybe the Ennis and Jack could be, like, trapped or something inside their tent with some reptiles. Depending on what they're up to, the snakes may or may not be of any interest...

Snakes On A Doomed Ocean Liner: OK, ANYTHING to get James Cameron in front of a camera again....

I welcome all threatening reptile scenarios!!


I saw a preview for this film the other day. Several audience members (self included) loudly mocked it with derisive laughter.


Come the day of In-Flight Judgement, all mockers and derisors will be held accountable!

Snakes On A Breakfast Club: Now Judd, Anthony Michael, Emilio, Molly and Ally have a lot more to complain about!

Star Trek: Snakes On The Enterprise: Picard will reason with them, Data will analyze them, Troi will comiserate with them, Geordi will neutralize them (mercifully), Riker will ask if any of them are female and Worf will eat them.

Snakes On The Matrix: Dude, there is no viper...


Snakes on Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: A black comedy about two circus performers, down on their luck, trying to cross the country with some Very Unusual Cargo ...

The Snake House Rules: This slice of life drama celebrates the indominable human spirit. You will come away wondering: is morality imposed on us by the standards of others, or does it spring from within? And what, if anything, does it have to do with ordinary reptiles?


"Dude, there is no viper"--PRICELESS! :)

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