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April 26, 2006



The Star Trek universe is too big and varied to made obsolete by mere passage of time. It is stale plots, stiff acting, and lack of new marketing ideas that has killed the Enterprise. I would love to see a revitilied TV series or movie. And yes, it does make me feel incredibly old to hear the series refered to as "venerable".


the early days of "Star Trek" characters James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, including their first meeting at Starfleet Academy and first outer-space mission.

Might as well nail the coffin closed... Tom Cruise as Kirk, Jim Carrey as Spock. Mike Myers gets a cameo as Mr. Scott, so he can practice his brogue some more.


Yes! The brogue! Good call.

Maybe we should bring in Jake Guyenthaal as Dr. McCoy, just because he's hot property right now. Though I can't see him playing "irrascible". Hmm.


I visited the IMDB Starmeter with the theory that everyone cast would among the top actors or be a HUGE NAME. Finding a Japanese or Russian actor proved a challenge... So much for Roddenberry's dream of an integrated future.

Here are my predictions -
Kirk: Heath Ledger
Spock: Jake Gyllenhaal
McCoy: Joaquin Phoenix
Scotty: Christian Bale
Sulu: Daniel Dae Kim
Chekov: Elijah Wood
Uhura: Halle Berry

Incidental characters -
Sarek: Hugo Weaving

Come on. You KNOW you have to have Ledger & Gyllenhaal as Kirk & Spock.

By the way, the whole concept of Kirk and Spock TOGETHER at the Academy is a slap in the face of the faithful. Rick Berman freaking SUCKS.


who ARE these people?


e, my knowledge of current star names is almost void. Some kind person, other than Hallie, Jake, Elijah and Bale, which movie/TV show are they from?
I know James Woods, not Elijah. Bale is not really strong in the memory banks either. Jake was Donnie Darko , Right?


CmdrSue, I was going to "go there", but I chickened out at the last moment!


If this thing is going to be a success -- and you'd look a long time to find someone who cares less whether it is -- it will require some real "out of the box" thinking (that's a nod to the tortured bureaucrat who provides such a nice place for us to comment).

I think the only sane way to go is pure satire/parody -- I mean, to a much higher degree than the franchise usually aspires. Something like "Undercover Brother" meets "The Colbert Report/Daily Show" meets "Pimp My Ride" meets "Deadwood."

Samuel L. Jackson as Kirk (the older)
Ludacris as Kirk (the younger)
Denzell Washington as Spock (the older)
Xzibit as Spock (the younger)
Stephen Colbert as McCoy
Ian McShane as a very foul-mouthed Scotty
Wanda Sykes as Uhura

Got to figure out how to get Eddie Griffin, Dave Chapelle and Larry David into the mix.




Re: Heath and Jake as Kirk and Spock: read the novelization of ST:TFXM (ie, the V'Ger Movie) where it is actually HINTED AT that K and S were more than just "friends" (but then completely contradicted by an obviously "Correct" comment from Kirk).

There is in fact as well an actual pretty good novel about the first voyage of the Enterprise that would make a good movie. Christian Bale as McCoy would be OK, and I'm sure given how multi-cult LA is today you wouldn't be too hard-pressed to find a good Japanese actor and Russian actor to play Sulu and Chekhov. But on the other hand: Angela Bassett or Heather Headley as Uhurah would guarantee my multiple trips to the cinema!

Oh and BB: Honestly... Christian Bale just made HUGE bank with "Batman Begins" and Elijah Wood recently got a little critical notice for doing these three tiny indie movies in New Zealand a few years ago....


I didn't say that these were MY casts for the movie - just the kind of crap some Paramount exec would come up with.

Personally the only way I would support it is if they venture into the land of virtual actors, pulling footage of the young Shatner, Nimoy, et al to do some outstanding CGI. Of course, even then you have the Berman crew writing the plot so it would SUCK.

Reverend H.L. Spork

How about an all-Muppet cast?

Nah. I'm thinking more of throwing in the cast of "That 70's show" into the new Star Trek series, but only so I can imagine Laura Prepon as Vina, the green slave girl.

What? It's four in the morning, I've got insomnia, and I have dreams, gosh darnit!

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