Told the story of my daughter negotiating her bedtime in class last night, because lo! We are studying negotiating techniques! Thus ever does my life imitate ... well, my life.
The class thought it was a funny story, but I am pretty sure that at least two classmates were sitting there wishing that my daughter had showed up to class, instead of me. Because earlier that evening, we had broken out into groups to practice our negotiating techniques in a hypothetical exercise, and holy frejoles, my partner and I were the world's. worst. negotiators. I'm telling you. We approached the bargaining table like two used car salesmen. It was ugly.
We did everything you're not supposed to do. We hardballed them. We lied to them. We good cop/bad copped them. We promised them that if they let us build 120 condo units in their town with no more than 10% designated as affordable housing, we would (cringe) arrange for an underground light-rail station within a block of the buildings, and ... yes ... throw in trash service to the moon.
In all fairness, my used car-salesman partner inserted that last crap, not me, but the damage was done. Our credibility was shot. Or, maybe it was shot when we told them we couldn't compromise on the number of units, and then compromised in the next breath. Or when I got disgusted because I thought they were lying to us. The opponants looked more and more incredulous as the night wore on. "Did you even READ the book?" they exclaimed. They barely spoke to us when it was all done.
Which is kind of funny, in retrospect. Mwheh-heh.
I think my partner's problem is, he didn't take the exercise seriously at all. And my problem? Um, temporary insanity?
Everything I learned about negotiating, I learned during my divorce. I think I'd fail your class. My strategy? Decide on a bottom line beforehand, and do *not* budge from it. Allow the other person to *think* he's getting a deal, as long as you get your own way. If all else fails, get a lawyer and have his clock professionally cleaned, getting him far less than I was prepared to give him to begin with.
Posted by: Snow | April 13, 2006 at 07:25 AM
Yes, Snow. That is the #1 thing to avoid in negotiation: positional bargaining. But in divorce, I can totally understand, and advocate that position. In fact, the whole "thinking the other person is getting a deal" is absolutely my M.O. too!
Pam, in our class, we only had two groups agree. Mine was one though. Viva negotiation!
Saturday, 10AM, usual bat-place for a study break? Coffee? I think it will just be you and me.
Posted by: maya | April 13, 2006 at 10:21 AM
Maya: I'll be there. Savvy too?
Snow: That was part of the trouble with the exercise. The two sides wanted the exact opposite things, yet we WEREN'T supposed to treat each other like adversaries. Live and learn.
Posted by: pam | April 13, 2006 at 01:36 PM