Celebration of life

Yesterday, I attended a memorial service for a lady at church who'd been a piller of the community. It was my first Unitarian-Universalist memorial service, which is odd, considering I've been a member since 1998!

I only meant to stay a few minutes. Probably because I'm used to memorial services being entirely given over to the minister's guesses about whether the dearly departed made it to heaven or hell. But I should have known better, this being UU. They spent a great deal of time honoring her life and no time at all admonishing us about where her soul (and by extension, ours) will spent eternity. First came a thoughtful eulogy. Later the minister roamed the congregation with a microphone, a la Oprah (as she put it), letting friends tell little anecdotes.

This is just the kind of service I hope people throw when I go.

And this poem was read during the service. I googled it when I got home and found out it was written by a UU minister. It's apparantly pretty popular at these memorials:

Instructions
A Poem by Rev. Arnold Crompton

When I have moved beyond you in the adventure of life,
Gather in some pleasant place
And there remember me with spoken words,
old and new. Let a tear fall if you will,
but let a smile come quickly
For I have loved the laughter of life.

Do not linger too long with your solemnities,
Go eat, and drink, and talk
And when you can -
Follow a woodland trailClimb a high mountain
Sleep beneath the starsSwim in a cold river
Chew the thoughts of some book that challenges your soul
Use your hands some bright day
to make a thing of beauty.
Or to lift someone’s heavy load.

Though you mention not my name,
Though no thought of me crosses your mind-
I shall be with you
For these have been the realities of life to me.
And when you face some crisis with anguish -
When you walk alone with courage
When you choose your paths of right
When you give yourself in love
I shall be very close to you.
I have followed the valleys,
I have climbed the heights of life.

Comments

[Dan]

Maybe I'm thinking about this because a good friend -- an old (in both senses) high school teacher of mine -- is dying back in suburban Chicago right now. Anyway, over the last few years I've had more than one occasion to participate in memorial services for Roman Catholic relatives. Surely it's an effect of the circles in which my family moved inside and outside the church, but there was a presumption in the proceedings that hey, people aren't perfect but doing your level best in life is probably good enough to get you into heaven (OK, yeah -- only after a good long stretch in purgatory). In fact, it seemed like there was a presumption not to presume to know what God's will, if any, might be in regard to the dearly departed. Anyway, that's Mr. Fuzzy Agnostic talking. The other thing that was so great about these services is that they all followed the form you're talking about -- they were really celebrations of the people who had passed and pretty darned informal.

[Rev Terry Shea]

I was going off to do a "Celebration" this morning and at a loss for "just the right reading" Sprit. God, Universal Mind always stands at the ready to supply every need. Thanks God posing as Dan today.

As for people not being perfect ... well ...

yeah and?

Namaste

[Amy]

I am working on A Celebration of Life service from my Grandmother who passed away in my arms in December. I have been having a difficult time finding something just right to share at her service. I sat down tonight with the idea of finding something to "make due" and after googling for an hour, I stumbled on this page. This is a beautiful poem and I cannot wait to share it with the attendees at her service..

Thank you a thousand times...

[Steve]

I'm glad I found this. I'm working on the celebration for my dad this coming weekend. This is perfect. I also can't wait to share it with the rest of the family and friends.

[Ruth]

I like your poem--and thoughts--a lot. I work with people pre-arranging their final events. It's so much easier for family left behind to not have to start from scratch at a time when our hearts are bruised or broken. I'm putting together some resources to share, and found your site here under celebration of life.

Thank you.

If one starts with perfect Jesus dying for one's sins, and accept that as God's gift leading to eternal life that starts now, all the searching comes clearer and gets easier. My experience.

[Yadaelroiy]

The term Celebration of Life was first used in 1997 by a family who wanted to celebrate the life of a lost love one, Leonard Luke Simmons, instead of grieve it at the memorial service. The phrase was originated by Deborah Simmons Garcia. wikipedia.org/celebration of the life