Size matters to the IT women

I'm sitting in my cubicle, staring morosely at the screen, here in my third week of the new job. And my fellow newbie Joann (the cheerful woman - yes, she gets a real name now that I like her) walks in to shoot the breeze with me for a moment, while the Information Technology dept. takes over her computer.

It seems there was a mistake made even before her first day - she may have been accidentally issued a better computer than she deserves. Now they are performing a complicated brand of IT trigonometry, trying to determine whether Joann ranks highly enough in the bureaucracy to have such a state of the art computer for her own.

The IT woman, dressed in sneakers and a flannel shirt, is on a walkie-talkie, discussing the matter with - well, with someone else. We don't know exactly who. She measures the cubicle. She reads off the salient points of Joann's duty statement. She relays the amount of memory and -- the fact that the tower contains a CD burner. No! Not that! This news is so unbelievable, a second beflannelled woman joins the first. They peer under the desk owlishly and consult their clipboards while the walkie-talkie oracle squawks at them.

"Next they'll measure your rank by how far you sit from the nearest window," I whisper.

"I'd say about fifty feet," says the IT woman into her walkie-talkie. We clap our hands to our mouths to stifle our screams.

As it turns out, whoever is on the other end does not feel confident enough to authorize pulling the plug right then and there, illicit CD burner or no. The two IT women go away, but not before peering into my cubicle at the POS I'm saddled with. Sucker is so off-brand, it doesn't even have a logo. Satisfied, they nod and depart in their squeaky shoes.

Comments

[Sheryl]

Good grief, next they'll make the peons drink generic coffee while the lords send out for Starbucks.

[Karen]

I can't believe your IT woman doesn't wear pants.

[Kimberly]

You have GOT to be kidding me!! The money they spend varifying peoples' places in the technological hierarchy could be spent on getting everyone decent computers! Asshats!

[kristal]

I laughed out loud at this one!

[elswhere]

This is too funny. They didn't!

[Daisy]

*snork* I've read this a couple of times now and I'm still giggling. Thanks Pam.