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September 29, 2005



Mr. Smelly.

Like The Force the micro and 'fridge will always be with you. Mr. Smelly on the other hand will go on vacation and just not be there every so often. Also Mr. Smelly might clean himself up which is more than you can say for the micro or 'fridge.


Smelly alcoholic- won't make you hungry, and will keep you sober. Nothing like first hand experience to keep you moderate.


naahh, the appliances pretty much stay put, which one can't always count on with drunks. and which, if it came to that, would you rather clean up?


For nostalgia's sake, I'd room across the hall from Mr. Malodorous. Because he'd remind me of the first time I was a manager, with employees who apparently imputed magical powers to me. We had a really stinky guy in the office, and several of his coworkers came to me and said, "You -- you've got to say something to him." I surprised myself by agreeing, because he really did smell sleeping-and-peeing-in-your-clothes bad, and I felt embarrassed to say anything to him. He also had a rather refined British accent and a genteel way about him, and he was surprised and abashed when I approached him to say his coworkers just couldn't stand the his personal aroma. He said he'd try to correct the situation. He explained -- not sure if this was made up or not -- that he'd lost his olfactory sense because of a serious head injury he suffered when he was hit by a car in London. Thus, he had no idea how he smelled. I can't say his odor ever improved, but not long afterward, he went to Burning Man, got a serious leg abrasion while leaping around on the Black Rock Desert, contracted a staph infection -- and didn't die. But he didn't come back to work, either, and that sort of settled that problem.

On the other hand, if you're across the hall from the appliances, you can always go over and just cut the wires if you get sick of the popcorn smell.


Would you like a gin and tonic? Isn't this a good gin and tonic? Do your co-workers frown when you drink gin and tonics at work? Is your office near a liquor store? Do you have any crushed ice or olives?
Isn't asking questions more fun than actually communicating? You're not Jewish are you? Jews love to ask questions instead of giving answers, don't they?
Don't you love the smell of burnt popcorn? Does it smell like victory or defeat? Are you an alcoholic too? Is it true that most people can't tell you're an alcoholic unless you start to smell? Do I smell? Do you smell?


Wow--that's tough. I guess I'd also opt for Mr. Smelly. (Any chance he might be moving on soon?) He is less permanent than the kitchen, which will be a constant source of smells, not to mention traffic of people coming and going, opening the fridge, chatting, slurping, smacking and so on.

Perhaps you could burn incense at your desk? Not real professional, but very zen.

And regarding the statements as question irritation, I'm with ya 100%. As I was reading your post, before I got to "She paused..." I guessed it was a woman you were speaking with. In my experience, it's only women (and usually young women) who suffer from this inflection affliction. I could be wrong? I dunno? Perhaps?...it's just...me????


So far, the alcoholic is winning by a substantial margin. I'll go with your choice if it really comes down to it when we arrive. (I find it interesting you all assumed it was a man. Actually, it's a woman!)

I rarely hear men speak every phrase as a question. In my experience, it's an insecurity quirk that's nearly unique to women. In the interest of full disclosure, I've heard myself do it too.


You're an analyst, Pam. Statistically speaking, what is the liklihood that Mr. Smelly Alcholic will spew the contents of his badly hungover stomach into his cubicle? He could make the everpresent odor of microwave popcorn downright appealing.

I'm extremely fed up with with the false interrogative voice not only in real live, but also in the blog world. Some of the folks I've previously liked very much have overused it so thoroughly in their postings that it's getting on my last nerve.


Oh, (A) is the no brainer. I wouldn't mind the conversations with question marks. Maybe that's because I sit near the microwave. At 9:30 every morning, the No Carb Diet Hound comes and microwaves bacon. That may smell great at 11:00 on sunday as you walk through the IHOP doors. But, I'm just getting really sick of it. Give me the question marks.


You will note that my comment is gender neutral!

Ms. Jane

Sitting by the kitchen would make you hungry all the time. Sitting by Ms. Stinky would actually work as an appetite supressant.

They also sell those little air filtration systems that could leave your cube smelling fresh and ion-riffic. I just picked one up for my cube for allergy purposes.

And the way the people talk? Like it's always a question? Tiny E and I call it Up Speak.


The whole question within a question thing, it has been posited, is unique to women from California. At least that is what my grumpy jewish linguistics prof from NY told me in college. I don't tend to do it myself, and after hearing her rant about it at the beginning of each of three classes I took with her, you can bet I take pains not to do it now.

I think I would choose the microwave room. I'm used to that. People can be unpredictable. If popcorn gets burnt, I have an excuse to go for a walk.

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