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August 31, 2005


Critter's Mom

I happen to work at a library in a Catholic Hospital so prayer at the circ desk wouldn't seem out of the ordinary to me but you are certainly right on the mark when you say we are a suspicious lot with a finicky sense of smell. With the number of homeless that frequent our public libraries there certainly wouldn't be a shortage for loaning out. As for the drug addicts, how long to you think it would take before they started using their loaning period to deal?


"Hi, I've come here to get a transvestite asylum seeker?"
"Oh I'm sorry, he's already checked out."
"Drat, what else do you have?"
"Well sir, right now we have a homosexual crackhead, a homeless gipsie and multiple-personalty with bad fashion sense."
"Sounds fairly unimaginative. In Amsterdam they had a whole section of homosexual crackheads and nobody checked them out for more than three minutes."
"Well sir, I think the homeless gipsie could provide an interesting hour--her whole tribe was killed in Roumanian by the Ceaucescus."
"I don't know, my friend Piet checked out a gipsie and told me that she wouldn't even put a curse on him! Well, I'm bored, I'll take the multiple-personalty case."
"Very good sir, can I see your library card? Hmm, sir, it seems you owe a fine for a post-operative gender reassignment who said you fondled her bookmarkers."
"OK, I'll pay, I'll pay."
"Very good. Just wait here and I'll bring Heinrich/Beatta from the closed stacks."


This seems demeaning- why is it so funny?


Because I'm a freakin semi-genius at writing parody?
(PS--no authentic homosexual crackehad asylum seeking gipsie disabled person was harmed during the making of this parody!)

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