Well, to pass the time before our books arrive from Amazon, and/or we collect our books in a mysterious midnight blood ritual at B&N, let's have some fun for the rest of the day. Let's toss out some things that we think could happen in book six. There are only a few more hours left to speculate! Get cracking!
POTENTIAL PLOT POINTS IN BOOK SIX:
*Grawp re-emerges from the Forbidden Forest wearing centaur-skin mocassins. The centaurs, so demoralized that they lost a fight with one retarded giant, no longer lord it over the other creatures in the forest. They withdraw from all contact with humanity and eventually migrate north. Inexplicably, they take the squid in the lake with them.
*Prof. Trelawney, reinstated as a Divinations teacher but finding her elective course to be considerably less well-attended than Firenze's, explores other career options. Now she heads up the fifth year's Wizarding Job Fair. Her booth, where she reads tea
leaves to divine the perfect career path for each client, gathers a loyal following.
*Draco and Pansy Parkinson lose their virginity together under the Whomping Willow; this starts a dangerous "extreme-sport" craze among the Slytherins.
More?
* With the centaurs gone, the forest’s climate of malevolence lightens considerably. Hagrid moves to downgrade the forest’s condition from “Forbidden” to “Imprudent”.
* A tragedy at Hogwart’s. After the adventure with the Sorcerer's Stone many years ago, everybody forgot about Fluffy, the giant three-headed guard dog in the third-floor corridor. Poor Fluffy, it turns out, died of starvation several weeks after the incident. Dumbledore declares a day of mourning for the poor creature, but the memorial service is cut short when Fluffy’s ghost leaps out of the coffin and kills Mrs. Norris the cat. From that time on, the third-floor corridor is permanently sealed off.
* From the grave (!), Dumbledore charms every Dumbledore chocolate frog card in existence to make them talk. For several weeks, his cards are all the rage, until it's realized they never shut up. Still, seventh-year students are constantly caught trying to smuggle these cards into their N.E.W.T. exams.
* Minister Fudge, his eyes now open, consults Harry Potter almost daily by owl post. At first, he sticks to Voldemort-related matters. Later the owls begin to carry pictures of Fudge wearing ladies clothing and attending gladiator tournaments. The situation degenerates from there.
:::crickets:::
Wow, tough room!
Please kmake this a parady!!
Posted by: BB | July 14, 2005 at 01:18 PM
Pam and I have been parodying HP since we had Eddie the Jack Russell terrier eaten by a rogue python several years ago as part of an ongoing feud between ourselves and Patsy and Edina! See also our "Harry Potter and the Night Job of Dismay" on Beanconters/ parody.com...
Posted by: Anthony | July 14, 2005 at 01:24 PM
I'm laughing my ass off at the image of Draco and Pansy.
Posted by: maya | July 15, 2005 at 07:57 AM
I think amazon should deliver my book TODAY. :)~
Posted by: Kimberly | July 15, 2005 at 01:26 PM