Highlights from the pub

Lu and her husband are sitting next to each other at our little corner table. Lu has two plus more years left to go in this policy program. Her husband has just been accepted into law school, and Lu is thinking about going to law school herself after he is done.

"We won't have sex for four years!" she declares. I happen to be looking at her husband as she says this, so I'm the only one who sees his classic double-take. Then he says, "Maybe you won't!" It's one of those jokes that sounds very trite to read about, but works anew whenever you know the guy making the funny. I snuffle so hard that wine goes up my nose and I have to swipe a bar towel and hold it to my face to keep from making a mess. Bad form.

--><--

The Obligatory Rant about our econ prof is done in 15 minutes, flat. We are getting more efficient. We talk in shorthand now. For example, the phrase "water forum" conjures up a whole series of complicated injustices that no longer need to be articulated in sentences.

--><--

Everybody at the table lurves our Budgets prof as much as I do. I bite back my jealousy with some difficulty.

--><--

M. tells us she is very distressed because she hasn't had a date in 1 1/2 years. Savvy thinks she has the answer - she will hook up M.

"He's this guy I know, an ex-patriot from Zimbabwe," Savvy explains. She goes on to describe his big plans to go to community college. He will get some higher education in America, then go back to his country and help his people. "Plus he's totally hot," she adds.

I completely disparage the idea. "She'd have to move to Zimbabwe. Just how many California policy analysts do you think they need in Zimbabwe? What kind of job prospects are we talking?" Disparagement abounds. Savvy begins to look crestfallen. She goes to the bar for another beer. I appeal directly to M., who has not said a word thus far. "You don't know anything about Zimbabwe, do you?"

"Naaah," agrees M., "Except that guy Mugabe went and promised land to every black family, I mean, what was that about? The whole 'forty acres and a mule' ploy! And that starts an exodus, which is bad enough, except then he goes back on his promise! And then ..."

Savvy returns. "Zimbabwe guy is back on the table," I say.

"Oh, good. He's totally hot," says Savvy.

--><--

I shake hands with Lu's husband as I make my good-byes. Savvy's bf mentions that he reads my blog now, and it sounds a little like he's paying me a compliment, so I don't immediately deny all culpability, as is my usual response.

"I have a weblog," I tell Lu's husband, by way of explanation for the weirdness of a near-stranger calling me a beancounter. He's hip. "You should blog the thing about the no sex for four years."

You better believe it, buddy. I've got mouths to feed at home.

Comments

[maya]

Mwahahaha! I like your retelling of these events.

[Anthony]

Maybe YOU do....
Who are these sinister Asians you're hanging with? Can they be trusted? Do they, like, suddenly tuck their annotated Fu Manchu novels in their purses or briefcases when you come to the table? Do you smell opium on their person? Are they inscrutable? Why, exactly, have they chosen to be Asian? You really need to know these things...

[maya]

Look Pam! An article about Zimbabwe!