beancounters

Hang the jury!

Well, in the end, we the jury found ourselves in a deadlock. Very frustrating, but we knew there was no more means of deliberating ourselves into concensus, so we let the judge know and ended the thing.

The defendent was accused of soliciting an undercover sheriff's deputy who was posing as a hooker in a sting operation. Another charge of loitering with intent, was something we'd reached concensus on much earlier - we found not guilty because we didn't think the D.A. had made her case. But hoo boy, did the 12 of us go round and round about the other charge. The defense (consisting of a student attorney and her mentor - really!) tried to make the case that, because the guy didn't specifically say the word 'yes', didn't give the hooker any money, and walked into the motel bathroom as soon as they were in the room, he never actually intended to go through with it.

Most of us thought the guy's actions of conversing about sex for money, driving to the hotel, meeting the woman he acknowledged he knew was a hooker (his testimony), and walking with her to her room, discussing money en route, pr-r-retty much constituted an implicit agreement. But one juror really stuck to his guns and said without more proof, he saw reasonable doubt.

I could respect the difference of opinion as far as that went. But the juror also wanted to send a message with his 'not guilty' vote that prosti tution sting ops on the whole constitute entrapment, and should be illegal. Grr-rr-r. To me, that was such a misguided response that I'm afraid I got pretty testy with him for a few minutes. I said, you're on a soapbox; you can't change the law using this one case, and you shouldn't try. I mean, philosophically, I don't believe prost itution should be illegal in the first place. But it is, and we all know it, and this guy knew it - and we have to determine his guilt within the confines of the law. If I can do it, sir, you can too!

We deliberated for hours, and did as careful a job as we could. But neither faction could convince the other, in the end. So we wound up being a hung jury. Frustrating to have that happen, after the week's investment of time and attention.

Hey, at least I have a free afternoon now, w00t! I think I'll start some laundry and read my Price of Government textbook.

A use for those old encyclopedias

I just love folk art like this - art and/or crafts made from found objects. You ought to take a look at the whole collection. [via]

But Dubya was a no-show

Halle Berry won a Razzie award for "Catwoman" - and she showed up to claim it! Now that's classy. Bush should have taken a cue from her - he won an award, too.

[Berry] thanked everyone involved in "Catwoman," a film she said took her from the top of her profession to the bottom.

"I want to thank Warner Brothers for casting me in this piece of shit," she said as she dragged her agent on stage and warned him "next time read the script first."

It is rare for a Razzie winner to show up at the spoof awards held on the night before Oscars -- but Berry did, saying her mother taught her that to be "a good winner you had to be a good loser first." She received a standing ovation.

Anthony, when you come out to visit, we'll rent Catwoman and Elektra. It'll be a cheesy chick fight night.

But seriously, folks

I did finally go to the doctor. He told me I'm a hypochondriac. I asked him if there's a pill for that.

:: ba-dum CHEE ::

Revenge of the Sith spoof trailer

Don't worry, it's Saturday, so you have lots of time to download this absolutely hilarious send-up of Star Wars Episode 3.

"E.P.T. 1138"! Bwah!

Need more grease for wheels of justice

I thought jury deliberations for this misdemeanor trial would be cut-n-dried on Friday morning. Count one, guilty; count two, not guilty. That's what I'd written on my notepad after closing arguments. But in the words of the Master: "Aaaugh!" There are eleven other people in the deliberation room with me! After our first vote, all bets were off for a short session. And here I'd actually assured BB I'd be out in time for lunch.

Four jurors feel the first count should be "not guilty". We discussed it well into the afternoon, and then had the court reporter come in and read back testimony. Still no agreement. So we have to go back Monday. For my part, the "not guilty" voters have some good points - who knows, maybe they'll persuade the rest of us that there's reasonable doubt. That's how the system is supposed to work; at least it worked awfully well in that one movie.

Friday roundup with dog dawg

Well, I'm haven't turned the corner yet, but I did sleep last night thanks to a last-minute prescription for that pink cough medicine. I'm here to tell you, it works. It deserves to have a religion based on it! Whups - been done already. No - I had the wrong drug in mind! The concept is still up for grabs.

This (very short) edition of Friday Roundup is brought to you by Daisy - or, as she's known in da hood, DJ Baby Dogg D.

Type in your zip code here, and watch what happens.

Am I the last one here to have come clean?

Are you a sinner? Take this simple (but weird) test. [via growabrain]

Have a good day, everybody. I'm off to grease the wheels of justice. (Last day, I sincerely hope.)

Relapse

Stupid f'n fake Ny-Quil. It's failed me tonight. I can't sleep for all this damned coughing. It's even driven BB away - he's gone to the futon for some peace and quiet.

Right now I'd give anything for that pink shit that Anthony swears by.

Well, let's see. Since I'm up. Jury selection concluded, they taught us the basic dance routine, and we opened to a nearly-empty house promptly at 10:30. There are only two witnesses, and we've heard them both. I think the defense will refrain from putting their good man on the stand, so it's sure to wrap up tomorrow/later today. It's been interesting.

I did cough during the trial, though not nearly as badly as I am doing right now. You should have seen me. My purse was loaded, folks. I had the syrup, the drops, the pills, the kleenex, and a big ol' bottle of water. Still, I kept coming to the attention of the bailiff. She'd stand up and pour a little cup of water, and walk cle-e-ear across the courtroom to where I sat in my box. Embarrassing. Later, she fetched water for others, too, and I suspect it was just to take me off the spot.

We ajourned early this afternoon, so I stopped by the office. Later, it was Budgets class, but that deserves a post of its own.

Boy, what a long day. Not sure I will have it in me to attend Econ tomorrow night, if I don't get some sleep. I think I popped an eardrum. Does it bleed when you do that? It's not bleeding. I don't think. I don't know. Please leave a comment, and tell me to go to the doctor already.

The music and the mirrors

I made the semi-finals for jury duty. They loved me! I sang "People", and I swear, there wasn't a dry eye in the place. I go in tomorrow morning for callbacks.

Took a walk around the downtown at noon. Ye Olde Stomping Grounds! Here's the doorway of the place I went for lunch. They make terrible sandwiches, but have such a beautiful building:

(Little does BB know, he ain't getting this camera phone back.)

So, back to the wheels of justice. Anthony sent me a few helpful ideas this morning.

Should you--for whatever inexplicable reason--not want to do jury duty, the following tactics are a guaranteed "lease-breaker":

1) Find a custom T-shirt store
2) Buy a t-shirt and have a suitably controversial logo printed on it (swastika, skull, pentagon, inverted cross, Janet Jackson)
3) Have one of the following phrases set on it (or make up your own):

MANSON FAMILY VALUES
YOU'RE THE SCUM MY NEIGHBOR'S DOG WARNED ME ABOUT
THE SAUCER PEOPLE SAY THEY'RE ALL GUILTY
KILL THEM ALL AND LET PRICE-WATERHOUSE CHOOSE
RWANDA: THIS IS NOT YOUR FATHER'S GENOCIDE
THE ONLY GOOD MARRIAGE IS A GAY MARRIAGE
MY OTHER PERSONALITY IS ALSO A PSYCHOTIC ONE

You'll be back home within an hour!

Long-distance calls to Possumville

Excuse me, I seem to have lost my cell phone. Would everybody please check their work areas, and under their chairs? Thank you. I'll be in the breakroom.

Oh who am I kidding? It's gone. The last time I saw it was at 2:00 Monday afternoon at Starbuck's. Somewhere between there and home it disappeared.

And the thing is, I've never lost a possession that I could call, and hope to retrieve it by calling it. You can't page your purse, you follow? You can't GPS your own wallet. (Although how cool would that be?)

I must've called my own phone a dozen times, as I searched the house and the car. This morning, I even drove back to the place I parked and used BB's phone to ring mine. Nothing. And the barristas at Starbuck's did this faux sympathy thing for me, and so did the Verizon guy, which I assure you is damned hard to bounce back from first thing in the morning.

Where is my little phone? Why, why does it ring but nobody answers it, and yet it's nowhere to be found? I envision that it was picked up by some urban-dwelling possum that roams the gutters. Deep in the wherever-the-hell-possums-live, every time its new companion rings, the possum feels anew the thrill of danger and confusion.

Ready, set, sit

Tomorrow I report for jury duty. Five groups of 25 are to report in; it should be a real cattle-call. Look at all the people! At all the people! How many people do they need? How many boys how many girls? How many people do they -- [/channelling "A Chorus Line"]

I'm not bummed to be going. What may be inconvenient for some, is like a free-reading day to me. Sadly, though, there probably isn't a celebrity trial in the works.

It's a twister!

Well, that's certainly a rare thing - a funnel cloud was seen over Sacramento today.

Sacbee.com reader Matthew Adams of Elverta took a series of photos of the tornado forming over rice fields north of Sacramento International Airport.

Coooool! I dearly wish I'd seen it.

It seems there were several in the area, and they touched down in West Sac and Natomas neighborhoods. On second thought, I'm just as happy to watch them on TV.

Cherry fans, rise up! or go to sleep!

Eccccccccch

I just took some "cherry-flavored" nighttime cold medicine, so I can get some sleep. Can't call it Ny-Quil; it's the generic version. And holy frejoles, does it taste terrible. There should be a new word for it - the terrible that happens when a product tries to be sweet and tasty but fails to disguise its evil narco-medicinal roots.

Do you take it on a spoon or in the cup? Because the cup is worse; your tongue can taste the cruel syrup all the way down. With a spoon you can at least throw the stuff back there pretty far before it has to come in contact with tender tastebuds. But I had no spoon this time. eccccch.

Claims to be 'cherry-flavored'. Travesty! What a mockery this makes of the true, delicious taste of cherries! I think the cherry advisory board ought to sue to have that moniker taken off this product - in fact, all cough and cold remedies.

Another question: why do I seem to have a cold at the same time as other bloggers on my tiny blogroll? Namely, Jo, Bakerina, and Grace. This has happened twice this year (with Jo, at least). Odd. We ought to commission a study.

Whoa - this is good shit. It's working already. Never mind what I said earlier. We lovessss the fake Ny-Quil, precious! Now I'd better get off the computer before my head hits the keyboard.

Working through a blockage - no, not that kind

It’s the middle of a three day weekend, but having a bad case of blogger’s block, I can’t think of a thing to say about it. There, I admitted it. ::peers through the slats of the blinds:: I hope they don’t revoke my diarist’s membership for this. The card they can have. But I’d sure miss my decoder ring.

No, I can’t risk it. Must Write Something.

Dealing with a nice bronchial cold today. I know just how I got it, too – through receiving coughs right in my face from a certain young person in my household. On that ill-fated Friday, we sat across from each other as I showed her how to play backgammon. I must have told her ten times to cover her cough – but belatedly, alas! Always belatedly!

So stayed quietly near my bed all day yesterday. I got a little reading done out of the mounds of materials and books that I get through – and understand - by next class. Unfortunately, I had to be care-giver to said young person for half the day – she who is almost over her own cold and literally bouncing with pent-up energy. It’s so hard to concentrate on abstracts about regional environmental collaboratives – well, shit, it’s hard to under any circumstance, but particularly with a girl and a dog wrestling next to you.

“Get out!” I’d shout. “Getoutgetoutgetout!”

“Why?!”

“Because this is my bedroom! Aren’t there any TV shows with questionable content on? Shouldn’t you be off sneaking a look at R-rated DVDs? This would be the perfect time. I’d never know it. Get out of here!”

Kids today. No sense of larceny.

The net continues to amuse and insult by turns

Is Frooogle fraaazled? I'mma say Yes. How else do you explain this? In my stats and referrers was a link from Froogle. Following it back, I found that someone had typed in "toilet paper funnies". Look what was listed, fourth from the top:

Is this shopper supposed to infer that I sell toilet funnies on my blog? Is s/he supposed to slog through a lot of random diaries looking for something to buy? What a waste of time for the shopper - except, of course, for the few golden moments spent here.

First of all, the devil duck was from a quiz; it had nothing to do with toilet paper. Secondly, the link itself, if you remember, was just to that contest for the most ridiculous product warning label. And third, where'd the dollar figure even come from? My posts are worth considerably more than $41 bucks apiece, thank you. I just share with you for free because it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Perhaps Froogle beta has jumped the proverbial. Does anybody here even use this service?

What a tweaked dress looks like

So, I'm watching "Project Run way" on Bravo every Wednesday night, and ... What? Well, it's on after Budgets, and who wants to sit down and study right when they get home from class?

Okay. You're all with me. Anyway, the contestants each designed a dress for a TV babe who was going to the Grammys. Though Eeevil Wendy won the competition, the judges promised they'd "tweak" the dress before letting the TV babe be seen in public.

Courtesy of Halima (thanks!), here are both versions. I must say, for a crowd of haughty designers who turn up their noses at anybody who sews like a mere "dressmaker", they sure turned around and leached the personality out of this design for the tastes of the TV babe.

Wendy's version had the feather routine; the new dress has lost that crucial flair, sadly. And I don't like the shawl whatsoever - I bet the TV babe made that last-minute decision while looking in the hall mirror. If the woman felt she had to cover up, she should have picked leather.

Just my thoughts. Like I'll ever go to the Grammys under any fashion circumstance!

Oh, aren't we pleased with our little CGI selves

Amazon is carrying the movie trailer today. And then there's the website. It looks slick and professional. Humor carefully calibrated to deliver something which is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike the books.

May I panic now?

How about now?

All Things Dog

Gina Spadafori, a syndicated pet care columnist, has her own blog. All things dog-related are open for discussion. Go and visit - she's a terrific read.

Squatters' rights in a hospital

AP Woman refuses to leave hospital after being discharged a year ago

It's been more than a year since Sarah Nome was deemed healthy and given her discharge papers.

Yet $1 million in unpaid medical bills later, she remains bed-bound in room 502 at Kaiser Permanente's San Rafael Medical Center, locked in a stalemate with the hospital north of San Francisco.

The 82-year-old woman refuses to leave. She said she has sued the nursing homes where she lived before she was hospitalized and now has nowhere else to go.

Admitted for a psychiatric evaluation in January 2004, Nome was discharged a week later. She and her daughter claim they can't find a suitable nursing care facility in Marin County, where Nome has spent her entire life. She refuses to live anywhere else.

"It isn't that I'm not ready to go ... I just have nowhere to go," Nome said in a telephone interview from her hospital bed.

I wondered if it were possible to just refuse to be discharged from the hospital!

Last fall, after BB's knee replacement surgery, Kaiser deemed him ready to go home long before I thought he was ready. I wanted him home, but he still needed so much care. And they were releasing him into the hands of ... who? Me? What exactly are my nursing qualifications? Damned irresponsible of them, I thought.

I was seriously thinking of "forgetting" to pick him up on discharge day. Well, you know how it goes - cell phones die, man, they die. So do answering machines. I didn't get the word!

Unfortunately, my plan must've been leaked at some level, because they sprang the news of his discharge on me during a so-called routine visit. Now I know, though, it might've been possible to just refuse to accept delivery.

Back off, Pinky

Daisy got spayed. The vet told us she won't heal properly if she's allowed to run and jump. I guess she understood the advice, because she rests quite a lot.

She spends her time in places around the house she's deemed the most comfortable. But we never know in which place she'll be. If we want her, we have to hunt for her, because she never answers when she's called. I know why, too. Let's see ... Surgery? Trapped overnight at the vet's? A funky new hole in her belly? That was a real eye-opening experience. She's learned exactly where she stands in this household, thank you, and she's not feeling the love now.

Look at that face. That's a face that says don't fall asleep with your door open, sister.