beancounters

Organizing on April Fool's

Well, I don't know. I do like it. But I've never been up for public displays like wearing a brown ribbon or armband to work. It's not well-known like the pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness, or the red ribbon for AIDS awareness. It's brown. Brown? What does the brown ribbon represent, Pam? I'd just have to explain it to my coworkers, all of whom are even less plugged in than I. After the seventh or eighth reply, it would just be sordid.

Better to pin this on the back of my office chair instead. It makes the point so much more efficiently!

Duped by Wal-Mart

LA Weekly: News: Duped by Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart, said Martin, had tricked her into being their poster girl on the piece of mail most critical to their campaign so far. "All of the words on that letter that went out, none of them are true," says the 82-year-old Martin, a retired nurse who lives in a senior complex near Manchester Boulevard. "I didn’t write them."

This, to me, represents the primary reason to boycott Wal-Mart. It seems that when Wal-Mart sets its sights on a region, and the question of letting Wal-Mart develop is placed before the local government, or before the people in the form of a ballot measure, the corporation stoops to extrordinary depths to win.

I have another Wal-Mart story to relate, that hits closer to (my) home. More later.

Sloganator Memorial

Hey, George - this guy collected many of those Bush/Cheney 2004 campaign posters into a remarkable montage.

See, I used to freak out at the thought I was several minutes behind the zeitgeist. Now I'm fairly serene, since I realized memes don't travel in straight lines. They look more like this, when viewed from above:

(My first use of the word meme - hope I'm doing it right.)

In a related note on how cheerfully behind I am, boingboing is about to become a daily stop of mine. See? Look at my hand - steady as a rock.

Guerilla civil service

If I ever create a subcategory on this blog entitled "Emperor Norton Lives", this guy will be my first entry.

An artist disguised as a state employee takes a direct approach to correcting guide signs on the California freeway system. With the manufacture and installation of a duplicate route shield Interstate 5 and directional North signs to aid motorists on the 110 Pasadena freeway in downtown Los Angeles, indicating an exit two miles ahead. An auto-documentation of conceptual, performance, functional and public art taken to the realm of civic duty.

[Via broken]

Ready ... set ...

mail!

At lunchtime today, I take my app for graduate school to the post office.

This last part - filling out the application - surprised me by how tricky it was. First, I filled out one section with names of all courses to be transferred. It wasn't until I reached the next section that I figured out they want just the names of courses I've completed in section one. Section two is for courses in progress. Eeeep - full stop - print out a new copy of that page, and do over.

They asked for the course number and title of a course, but only gave me eight squares to fill in. This provoked much hilarity here in my cube. Try to figure out whether "PSYC330S" is applicable to this program. Go ahead! Does it apply? Who can tell? Good thing deciphering my application is not my problem. (Yet.)

Question A16 was an optional disclosure of my ethnicity. They never include "hoosier" on these lists, so I habitually never volunteer my ethnicity. It's not my fault they're so short-sighted.

Later, in Section B, I was asked for my ethnicity number "as stated in Question A16". Ah ha! But A16 was an optional question! I don't have to answer! I felt good I hadn't been tricked by a sneaky logic question.

The nerve-wrackingest part of the app process is knowing how many crucial bits of the app, currently winging their way from around the state, could get lost or never even mailed. Official transcripts, test results, letters of recommendation ... I have items flying in from seven separate sources. Will they all get there on time, and to the right place?

Update: I walked 26 blocks round trip to the post office. Go me!

What's a meem?

I've been blogging for six solid months - meaning, not only posting on my own site, but reading all of yours daily.

And I confess, I have never known what a "meme" is. It astounds me that everybody uses the word, and I read it almost daily, yet I haven't been able to pick up what you mean by it. I do get that it's a memory-share. Is it also a secret directive to others? Are people supposed to act or respond a certain way when a blogger warns s/he is about to share one? Is there money involved? You'll laugh, but really, I don't get it.

Here's a definition, for starters:

MEME. (pron. 'meem') A contagious idea that replicates like a virus, passed on from mind to mind. Memes function the same way genes and viruses do, propagating through communication networks and face-to-face contact between people. The root of the word 'memetics,' a field of study which postulates that the meme is the basic unit of cultural evolution. Examples of memes include melodies, icons, fashion statements and phrases.

Heck, I didn't even pronounce it correctly. I thought it was 'mem'. And no mention of money. Well, it helps a little ...

The people's quarter

As governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger has the privilege of picking California's commemorative state quarter. I blogged about it in a panic last fall sometime. Were you worried what design he would pick for the state quarter? What?! No?? You say you thought it was a trivial issue in times like these? Well, a lot you know. A state's quarter is looked at by the whole world. We'll be judged by our quarter. If California were saddled with a silly-looking art deco quarter, our credit rating would go right down the toilet. And it is Arnold we're talking about here.

But fear not. Good taste prevailed.

I credit Maria.

What poetry form are you?

I am heroic couplets; most precise And fond of order. Planned and structured. Nice. I know, of course, just what I want; I know, As well, what I will do to make it so. This doesn't mean that I attempt to shun Excitement, entertainment, pleasure, fun; But they must keep their place, like all the rest; They might be good, but ordered life is best. What Poetry Form Are You?

Good quiz!

Where's MY revolving mahogany bar?

BB and I watched "Down With Love" last night. We both got a real kick out of it. I like movies that depict the 60's, whether early or late in the decade. I was born in 1963, so it's interesting to note fashions, designs, music that I semi-remember first hand.

"Down With Love" was slavishly faithful to the old Rock and Doris movies. It had a bit more 21st century kick, sexually speaking - though there was no sex in it. Very good work! I would watch it twice more - the second time for the costumes and the swinging bachelor pad, and the third time just for the music. :-)

Next comes "Anger Management". It's arrived from Netflix, but I haven't found the enthusiasm for it yet because, well, it's an Adam Sandler. I do like the Adam Sandlers, and I laff at the Adam Sandlers ... but I saw an Adam Sandler a few months ago, and the ol' Adam Sandler tank gauge is still on "Full".

Monday chant is full of grace

In lieu of the usual Monday chant of hate, I'm determined to look for the bright spots in an otherwise depressing work life.

* The building’s candy machine is four floors away, meaning if I am hungry for chocolate, I have to really crave it in order to haul myself downstairs. I think this fact has spared me many thousands of calories. Plus, sometimes I make myself take the stairs to and from the candy machine, for penance.

* The parking meter at my normal parking space is semi-broken. It usually works properly, but once in a while it gives me ten hours of parking for just one quarter. Sometimes I lose the meter lottery, and the meter charges me more than the standard $3.00. But not often; I think I am doing better than average in meter fees.

* All three of the colleagues I asked to write letters of recommendation for the graduate program came through for me. I don’t have much experience asking for letters of recommendation; I had no idea what to expect. So I was highly surprised and gratified that they all wrote incredibly flattering descriptions of my accomplishments, commitment, and work ethic. Kept mentally glancing over my shoulder to see who they were really talking about.

* Somebody brought me a book to read. It looks like fun, and I can’t wait to crack it open. I’ll be good, though, and wait until two projects are completed this week. Still, it sits here on my desk as an incentive.

* Update to list: Best saving grace is, I am employed. Though I gripe about relatively insignificant things here, I am well aware, and grateful, that I have it better than those with no work.

BB knows his s.o.'s m.o.

Me: I'm finally ready to mop the kitchen floor. Do we have any more ammonia?

BB: No, I don't think so.

Me: Do we have any more floor-cleansing products at all?

BB: [searching along with me] It doesn't look like it ...

Me: Well then, I think for this mopping, I'll pour about 1/2 cup of Fantastik into warm water, and just use that.

BB: Sure, I don't see why that wouldn't work. It'd be more expensive than ammonia, though.

Me: True. I could always wait and mop after the grocery shopping ...

[BB thinks to self: Uh oh. If she waits until later this evening, she might claim to be too tired to mop, and then she'll undoubtedly blow off mopping the floor until next weekend!]

BB: No, no, the Fantastik idea is really good.

As a safety reminder

I think this safety sign builder will really come in handy. (Registration required.)

[Thanks Doc. Now lay off the coffee and get some sleep!]

I prefer "diet cokehead", thank you

THE CULT OF DIET COKE.

From the very beginning, Diet Coke inspired missionary-level zeal in drinkers.

Halleleujah! Lemme hear an Amen!

Which blah blah are you?

The perfect quiz for a Friday.

Take the What type of blahblah are you? quiz at sugarmama.org!

[Via squoogy, who else?]

Taking care of your own stuff

Mindy says, "It is absolutely true that no one else treats your stuff with as much care as you do."

Too right! When you live with other people, there has to be a liberal amount of sharing. You expect that. You expect that even the things you think of as "yours", the items you bought or keep for purposes of your own, will be borrowed occasionally.

But I bet you own some everyday items that you hide so that nobody else can use them. What are they? For me, it's a short list but a crucial one.

My sewing scissors. They're the one pair in the house that aren't gouged from pulling nails out of the wall, or gummy from cutting painter's tape. And dammit, they're going to stay that way!

My toothbrush. Sometimes BB in his bleary morning state mistakes my brush for his. Yeccch. In the past, I've had to hide it in my make-up bag - nobody ever looks in there, even me. :-) Lately, though, he has been using some motorized tooth-buffing contraption, and so leaves my analog brush alone, much to my relief.

A toolbox with teeny little screwdrivers and wire cutters. These are left over from the Days of Yore, when I used to make jewelry and other crafty things. I still keep them hidden, just in case I need a particular tool and don't want to have to rummage in the garage for thirty minutes. If pressed, I will deny their existence forever.

Passion or Python?

"Life of Brian" 25th anniversary celebration in the U.S.

"Ee's not the Messiah! Ee's just a very naughty boy! Now piss off!"

[via Muddy River]

Fridge challenge

So I decided to take the Receptionista refrigerator challenge. I wasn't going to, but I kept visiting weblogs, both familiar and new, and seeing the insides of people's refrigerators. All day, fridge after fridge. And I thought, hey, mine doesn't look as bad as theirs!

No, no, I didn't think that. I thought, hey, I wanna join in! That's it!

And so, we begin.

We've had this fridge about eight or ten years. We traded for some ski equipment. It's been a stalwart machine, though it does have an annoying rattle.

1) The front.

I'm not a big fan of magnets, notes, and other fridge ephemera. It's an appliance, not a bulletin board. So how did all these get there?

2) The cavern,

and the door.

I really wish I'd done a shopping before this. It looks like all we serve our child is condiments, dog food and diet soda. But hey, where there's a grocery deli, there's always a meal.

Skipping ahead to the good stuff, we have the three oldest items in the fridge.

The guacamole is ...? I say it's from the Super Bowl Era. BB guesses it's older. Neither of us wants to look inside, so I guess it'll be flung. The medicine bottle is Muffy's, from early January. Fling! And the generic plastic container holds something I don't want to meet in person, but it wiggles like chicken fat. God knows how old it is. Months. But ... it's going back in. It doesn't look like it's finished its transmogrification yet.

Now for the item I guarantee nobody else has in their fridge.

This is a month's worth of urine samples. I'm participating in a women's health study at UC Davis. So for two months, I'm makin' peesicles! What do you think? Can you top that?

Is it my cologne?

Where is everybody? Daaang! I bet the Pope I posted as "My Photo" chased them all away.

I'll replace him with something cuter that people can laugh over. But I swear, if readers don't start returning, back up he goes. (Not that they'll know one way or the other. 'Cause they'll continue to exist in a blissful state of nonreturnedness. If you follow.)

songs for dust mites

I am completely enchanted by the sample songs off of Steve Burns' album, here.

You can also hear an MP3 of another song here.

I have to have this!

Everybody, sing along:

We just ordered an album,
We just ordered an album,
We just ordered an album,
Wonder where it is?

Martha's new digs

The photos are flying!