Flowchart: how you'll inevitably shatter your iPad. There's even a course of destruction for those, like me, who don't plan on buying one.
Soulmates - until Frodo tore them apart! Boo!
Chefs serve dinner on a volcano. Now, it's been a long time for me, so I'll ask you - would this be a sort of "first date" scenario, or more of a "I'd like to die and take you with me" dysfunctional marriage thing? Whichever, it's obvious you'd have to pay in advance.