- I will not play Thundering Buffalo Stampeding across the Great Plains while humans and dogs are sleeping on the bed.
- I will patiently allow the dogs to sniff my mouth and nether regions when I return to the yard to bring them the news from the neighborhood.
- I will not weave around feet in the hallway or on the steps even though it does cause some excitement.
- When launching myself from the bed to the window or dresser, I must not use humans or dogs as a launching pad. The same is true of a landing pad.
Read the rest here. Good on ya, Mom!