The politics of estate sales

Sammy's former mommy and her new husband are indeed getting ready to move. The sure sign is,  they are having an estate sale this weekend. We walked over, ostensibly to let Sammy pay a visit to his puppies, but really to check out their house and their junk.

In my area of Sacramento, the phrase "estate sale" means "We're letting go of all our plastic cookie trays, not just the cracked ones." Or in Sammy's mommy's case, about fifty pairs of old shoes. Charming! And the junk for sale extended to the furniture in the house, which is all price-tagged with paper and magic marker and tape.

My neighborhood is famous for buying each other's junk at such sales, on alternating weeks. I am as guilty as anybody when it comes to this. Except I myself will not hold garage sales anymore, which means the flow of junkage is one-way - into my house but not back out again.

The reason I won't hold garage sales is, I have started to get a temper, here in my 40's. (Those who know me personally just shuddered.) Stealing from sales has gotten more rampant. I get unreasonably mad at people who steal from my sale. Or bundle stuff tightly under their arms and come up to me and try to offer me a quarter for everything. Or hide stuff under their clothes. Or pass unpurchased stuff to a confederate who has already made her purchases. Or make their kids distract me while the adults throw shit into their car trunks or into the milk crates on the back of their decrepit bicycles, and then take off and meet the kids around the block.

When I see this behavior, I get. really. mad. It's stupid, but I do. I am the first to tell you that the Rules of Garage Sale Engagement are sometimes nebulous, but the line is drawn at actual stealing! If you don't know that, you are not fit to be out in polite society.

So, I hear myself yelling impossibly surreal things like "Yes, I see that Travel Scrabble game under your t-shirt, and it's still fifty cents!" The absurdity of doing all that emoting over an item I am trying to sell, yet do not even value above the cost of a bar of chocolate, causes my brain to fizzle. Cognitive dissonance, man - makes you work too hard. I start to squeeze my eyes shut and wish for a nice tall frothy cup of coffee. Yes. A cup of coffee ... on a cafe table ... surrounded by, oh, say, Paris. Aaah.

Then of course, when my eyes are shut, all the rest of my stuff walks away. So you see. Better to box up the junk and take it to a charity for a tax write-off. Goodwill can't steal my Travel Scrabble if I'm giving it to them.

Comments

[CmdrSue]

We were considering having a yard sale but you may have just talked me out of it. And it was my plan to keep from having to TAKE the stuff somewhere. People would just drive up to my house and GET it. Oh well.

[pam]

Oh, go for it. I'm just describing our own esteemed locals.

[Debra]

I think Goodwill is the way to go anymore. With that silly program that comes with your tax software, it will search out Ebay equivalent prices.. and gives me much more than I do for my own stuff. And the government accepts it!!

Nice big tax deduction.. no wasted weekends... no frustration. I lug a box or two out of the house almost every month.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to get them to come into my MILs house and take it all away...

[Katherine]

Freecycle! They can't steal it, you're giving it away, but they have to come and get it.

[Anthony]

Try selling your SO, child and dog. The look of consternation on your neighbors's faces will well-outweigh any possible legal violations. Not to mention you might actually make some money off them!

[Dan]

Ya know, it's not the stealing. It's the aggressively boorish, rude behavior that says you're little more than a Bott's dot on someone else's highway to self-satisfaction. Not that I ever take it personally.

[fauxpaws]

You're linked: http://sacrag.com/articles/003091