Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus?
Kittens' hearts, at birth, are filled with what theologians call "original mischief." Mischief, if left to grow on its own, can sprout into evil. That's why you must fill their hearts with Jesus instead. If you wait, your cats might find seductive role models among the back-alley strays and rough felines from the wrong side of town. You could also end up with an unwanted pregnancy.
And what would a saved kitty family hang next to their scratching post? This picture, obviously.
JesusPets is a company that will ensure that the dogs and cats of born-again Christians will be cared for after their owners have been Raptured up to the streets of gold. Isn't that nice?
Then there's always The Cats of God. Yeah. I'm sorry in advance.
Is parody even possible anymore? Like academe, parodying the excesses of religion flounder on the shores its own built-in unconscious hyperbole.
Oh well, back to teaching Mr. Whiskers about the Beast With Seven Heads and The Whore of Babylon!!
Posted by: Anthony | March 03, 2006 at 08:03 AM
ah, i was going to point out that this is not actually blasphemy, it's heresy. but that was before i clicked and saw it was a parody. whew.
Posted by: e | March 03, 2006 at 09:55 AM
Actually (Also Sprach Dramaturgathustra) these do qualify as blasphemy since, as offense to the sacred and clearly (or likely) coming from WITHOUT the Christian community they can't be heresy, which is exoteric (dissent from within)in nature rather than esoteric (dissent from without).
Sorry for the pedantry, but it's in the blood!
Posted by: Anthony | March 03, 2006 at 11:01 AM
Oops, totally screwed that one up!
Heresy is esoteric (from within); blasphemy is exoteric (from without).
The BBC would like to apologize...
Posted by: Anthony | March 03, 2006 at 11:06 AM
the belief that animals have souls is a particular named heresy, though, the name of which i, mercifully, have forgot.
Posted by: e | March 05, 2006 at 01:04 PM
As I recall, it's called metempsychosis and it's what Faustus yearns for at the end of Marlowe's "Dr. Faustus" (he wants to be reborn as a lower being/animal to escape the pact he made with Mephistopheles at the play's beginning)!
Needless to say, he doesn't get his wish...
Posted by: Anthony | March 06, 2006 at 07:05 AM
Anyone read The Onion? Yeah...
Posted by: | March 26, 2006 at 04:56 PM
People of Scarborough, Ontario, beware: someone in your area is drinking and blogging ...
Posted by: pam | March 26, 2006 at 05:22 PM