Temple of Doom

Plans for Holy Land theme park on Galilee shore where Jesus fed the 5,000.

The Israeli government is planning to give up a large slice of land to American Christian evangelicals to build a biblical theme park by the Sea of Galilee where Jesus is said to have walked on water and fed 5,000 with five loaves and two fish.

A consortium of Christian groups, led by the television evangelist Pat Robertson, is in negotiation with the Israeli ministry of tourism and a deal is expected in the coming months. The project is expected to bring up to 1 million extra tourists a year but an undeclared benefit will be the cementing of a political alliance between the Israeli rightwing and the American Christian right.

Q: What rides should they have at the biblical theme park?

A: The Walk-On Waterslide
It's A Small Worldview, After All
Pirates of the Galillean
Ep-Fukakta-cot
Bumper Carbombs
Bunker Cars

[courtesy of Disinfotainment Today]

Comments

[CmdrSue]

Did I tell this story already? On the way to Disney in November 2004 (we drove down) my husband and I started teasing about how they have EVERY kind of theme park in Orlando and they should have a Jesus-themed one. My favorite ride that we came up with was The Ascension (rise up just like Jesus did on the 40th day!). Also not to be missed would be the thrill ride The Apocalypse, and for those who can't wait for the real thing, The Rapture!

You can imagine our shock when we checked into the hotel and found a flyer for this park on the rack next to the desk.

[Snow]

Egad. Why oh why am I not surprised? Surely the end is nigh.

[Anthony]

Yeegh, I could only look at the home page before my brain went on strike...
And surely, if I recall my feeble grasp of the New Testament, Jesus ascended to heaven after 3 days in the tomb, not 40? (Wasn't 40 the number of days Noah traveled in the Love Ark with Shem, Ham, Japhet and Isaac the Bartender?)

[Jo]

Really, my brain could do nothing but think about what kind of snack bars would be available. And then it exploded.

[CmdrSue]

Honestly, Anthony, I pulled the days off of the definition on dictionary.com because I am far from a biblical scholar. "In Christianity, the bodily rising of Jesus into heaven on the 40th day after his Resurrection." I think that you are thinking of the Resurrection, "The rising again of Jesus on the third day after the Crucifixion." I'm sure blondesense liz could set us straight if she stops by.

[ben]

He rose from the tomb in three, then hung around and did some consulting work and such with the Good Old Boys before actually ascending into Heaven.

Bumper carbombs! I love it.

I'm thinking they could have an arcade, with "Wack-a-homo," Sinball, and perhaps a shooting gallery (stoning gallery?) where you take out Palestinians and other undesirables for fun and prizes.

But wasn't there already one of these? In Florida?

[Anthony]

I consulted one of my earnestly Christian co-workers and yes, after rising from the Tomb JC spent time in the Holy Land doing "stuff" and then after 40 days ascended to heaven again (permanently) although the biblical justification for this is a little thin. So my apologiesfor playing Doubting Thomas and sticking my epistomological fingers where they don't belong...