[Found in various UU websites]
Q. What is a Unitarian Universalist?
A. An atheist with children.
You may be a Unitarian Universalist if
... you think socks are too formal for a Summer service.
... you know at least 5 ways to say "Happy holidays!"
... your idea of a guy's night out is going to a N.O.W. rally.
... unleavened bread is part of your Easter Brunch.
... you refer to construction paper as "paper of color."
... the name of your church is longer than your arm.
... you find yourself rewriting a church survey, rather than taking it.
... you call up your minister in the middle of the night, panicking because you are STARTING to believe in God.
... you feel the need to use interpretive dance to explain your religious convictions.
... you take your day planner to church instead of the Bible. (Although as I recall from my youth, that's also a sign you may be a Presbyterian.)