Stupid Truths

Found this great list at the inimitable Chasing Daisy - maybe it's me, but these really are just stupidly true.

1. Moles are always smaller than you imagine
2. You're never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps
3. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel manly
4. Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl
5. Everyone who grew up in the 80s entered the digits 71077345 into a calculator
6. Reading when you are drunk is horrible
7. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose
8. You are never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a bonfire in your garden

9. Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child
10. Triangle sandwhiches taste better than square ones
11. You never know where to look when eating an apple
12. It's impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat
13. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly
14. Rummaging in an overgrown garden always turns up a bouncy ball
15. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses
16. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school
17. The most embarrassing thing at school is to call your teacher mum or dad
18. The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given oppurtunity
19. Some days you see lots of people on crutches
20. In every plate of chips* there is a bad chip [*fries for our American colleagues]
21. Bricks are horrible to carry
22. It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a frisbee
23. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited
24. You've turned into your dad the day you put a piece of wood aside specifically for stirring paint
25. People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
26. You can't respect a man who carries his dog
27. There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you have your head or leg stuck in something
28. No one knows the origin of their metal coat hangers
29. Despite constant warning, you have never met anyone who has had their arm broken by a swan

Comments

[jo]

Why those numbers?

[Kimberly]

Yeah. The numbers thing confused me to.

Great list though!

[Daisy]

Here's why ;-0))

[pam]

Presumably, the numbers are there so you can add to the list. Then when your friends ask you at a party how many stupid truths you know, you can easily impress the august assemblage with a number. "I know a staggering 127 stupid truths, Kimberly my dear!"

[Penny B.]

The numbers spell SHELLOIL when read upside down on the original calculators. I have forgotten all about that!

[pam]

Oh, THOSE numbers! Geez, you guys.

[Kimberly]

* points and laughs at Pam *

* blows kisses *

[Leona Brendell]

Since English is not my first language, can someone out there define a stupid truth for me? Also, what is the perceived intellectual level of someone who dispenses many of these so-called stupid truths?