Haircut from heck

True to form, I did dash into the first salon I laid eyes on during our shopping excursion today. And it was nearly everything I deserved, on an existential level, for being so careless.

Some woman named Veena or Velma, or Velveeta, I don't know, plopped me in a chair and said, "OK, let's talk about yer hair." The word of the day was nerve-wracking. Nerves good an' wracked by the end of the job. I knew the kind of place it was when Velveeta pulled out the little spritz bottle to dampen my hair, instead of washing it. Washtubs? We don't need no stinkin' washtubs! Nor licenses, nor demonstrably clean combs ... Toward the end, she gave up all pretense and stopped using clips to separate the layers. Neither of us bothered with idle chit-chat. I just gripped my armrests, and she hacked away, and we both grimly set our sights on the end of the ordeal.

There really isn't much you can do wrong to my current style, which I like to call Neglected Bob. So it's not THE most horrible butchering ever. But you see, it could have been, that's my point! I narrowly escaped couture disaster! I don't really need more dangerous thrills in my life; I'm already a commuter. No, I really have got to be adult about this from now on. Find a salon I like and just make appointments with people I trust.

Update: Go read another account of a hair chop over at Sigh Club. Hilarious! I'm glad I'm not alone.

Comments

[Kimberly]

I got my hair done on Friday by the same woman who's been doing it for the past three years. I spend a shitload on it and have to budget for it every time. I've had my hair butchered too many times for me to pick people at random. It is *so* worth it.

[kristen]

funny, I just had the same experience: What I call a hair chop hair chop

[Anthony]

This is a...to be polite..."woman's issue." I go to the same redneck barber in Carrboro NC who cuts my hair to the approximate length of a seedy military captain and that's that for six months. It's easy to wash, set and comb cause you only really need to wash it. Plus, I can always get updates on what Rush is fulminating about. I always tip and am very polite: I never laugh at them until the straight razor is at least ten feet from throat.